XPerceniol

Thank you, jaclaz, I shall leave it be there with the kind of luck I've been having lately.

Per my therapists order, I'm to avoid anything triggering now, so I'm trying to watch Hallmark and Mystery ... the latter isn't too bad. Today I had very little contact (2 or 3 words and I waved to some), but everything seems unrest and I (fully) understand others and some people here (where I reside - not the forum) don't know how to communicate and only respond if spoken to first. I try when I can, but today was not the day. I should have put that all in my thread, sorry. Anyways.. Old mysteries might be good if only I had more than a few seconds of attention span. A bit past 9:30 and hopefully everyone is watching something other than the news. See you in the AM, all

youtube.com/watch?v=IiIDdq6PF8M youtube.com/watch?v=IiIDdq6PF8M youtube.com/watch?v=IiIDdq6PF8M Hozier - Say my Name (Cover), Live @ KCRW Radio

also curious about this. I've always had it this way, but I don't know if this is right.

Good night and sleep well.

My current settings. [HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\Session Manager\Memory Management] "ClearPageFileAtShutdown"=dword:00000001 "PagingFiles"=hex(7):43,00,3a,00,5c,00,70,00,61,00,67,00,65,00,66,00,69,00,6c,\ 00,65,00,2e,00,73,00,79,00,73,00,20,00,30,00,20,00,30,00,00,00,00,00 "PhysicalAddressExtension"=dword:00000001 "DisablePagingExecutive"=dword:00000001 "LargeSystemCache"=dword:00000000 "ExistingPageFiles"=hex(7):5c,00,3f,00,3f,00,5c,00,43,00,3a,00,5c,00,70,00,61,\ 00,67,00,65,00,66,00,69,00,6c,00,65,00,2e,00,73,00,79,00,73,00,00,00,00,00 "SessionPoolSize"=dword:00000000 "SessionViewSize"=dword:00000000 "PoolUsageMaximum"=dword:00000000 "SecondLevelDataCache"=dword:00000000 "NonPagedPoolQuota"=dword:00000000 "NonPagedPoolSize"=dword:00000000 "PagedPoolQuota"=dword:00000000 "PagedPoolSize"=dword:00000000 "WriteWatch"=dword:00000001 "SystemPages"=dword:00000000 "SessionImageSize"=dword:00000000 "IoPageLockLimit"=dword:08000000 I honestly don't' know what to do?

....

I wonder if messing with the pagefile size might help us? I don't how to do that and allow windows to take care of it. The only reliable RAM I have is a 2 GB ram stick ... the other stick are pretty much burned out.

Sending healing energy and please pick up the vibe and love you are witnessing on here. Wrap yourself around it as long as needed and pass along to others. Its there; I promise.

Good to hear and glad you recognize the progress you've made.

OK, I'm trying to help and asking now for the both of us. This awful struggle takes hold (I presume) when we give in. 1 day turns to 2 - 2 -days turns into a week - and even worse if you don't catch it. I've spent almost a month inside, but now, they drag us out if inside too long. That being said, is your home a pleasant and safe space? This is important and I always say I'm glad to be home (right now and alone) and I need this to reflect and pray and meditate to move bad energy and ask for help that is beyond my intellect and emotion(s), but overtime we can turn to neurosis. Its not too late @mina7601 and please PLEASE don't give in and give up, you are so young and deserve a good life. Sorry, struggling right now.

.........

Oh Gawd no !!!!!!!!!! You are not also dealing with agoraphobia as I am????????? I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Will write more later and I will "ask"

I've had to be selfish (even though by nature I'm selfless and give of myself to others) I've had to only see what I'm capable of when I'm not doing very well (the madness).

Nothing against "Faith" either and I've combed through the rules, rather, preaching or converting to ones beliefs, but touchy sometimes and we have staff here to correct us and this forum is well maintained.

Actually, if asking for love, one can easily tell when it a bad omen and never NEVER entertain the wicked. This is not the case here and XP Forum (the only 2 forums I'm on currently) I don't feel hate or ugly, sometimes people share their despair; but through this despair we can turn it around, which means the light hasn't burned out and hope is still there. Even though a computer forum, we are here for each other ... did you notice that?

I'm sad when I see church fires as people are the to congregate. Guess what .. we are doing this very thing (congratulation)

I was also kidding, I'd gladly visit a church, but shame its usually saying "farewell" to people

Yeah, try to eat well and get fresh air (I one to talk about that, sorry to appear as hypocrite)

<OT> Please consider sipping green tea is possible. <OT>

Should get out today though as I've not left the house for a little while. At least its very quiet now. Too much time is also not good to overthink everything. About 12:30 and ate something but need to get out of sweat pants in into real clothes. Will report back and see if I can get out of this rut. Something is lingering though and I can't quite figure it out, but over thinking again and maybe not for me to correct what I've no control.

Hi .. Been a while and wondering how you're doing; hopefully better! No not always easy but try to be not give the negative too much merit. But, yeah, hard, but we care about you here.

Never

^This! Have to turn it off sometimes to calibrate and recompose because toxicity is poison. Today in fact, I don't' intend to speak to anybody at all if I don't' have to. People went ape-s*** last night and I'm not sure why over here, but I was in bed. People were yelling in the hall for some reason and I don't even care to know. Need to take care of myself, I don't know.