XPerceniol

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I thought it was me until I logged on here ;( ;( V12 lags too much in the address bar and I never liked it, so I just went with V13.0.2170.0 and so far seem pretty good but oh such a monster compare to V11 .

Will check it out - Thanks!

Oh Gawd .. I used Trillian chat app and I'm now reading this is also bad. Oh well, pretty stupid to read (log) my depressing chats, but I also stopped that in 2015 and removed all traces. Sort of shy now and can't keep up in chat anymore.

Yeah, I did notice you have been so quiet - hope you're managing.

$30 dollar ionizer machine from the store. I use this one to be exact..

Also I have a "white noise" machine for night.

I use Binaural Beats when I meditate.

Not only do I not use Skype, I decided to rid myself of a web camera. Stopped in 2013 and I remember the day and why. Partly my fault, but no more for me.

Correct ... politicians all have 1 thing in common, Lies; lies; and more Lies. Oops ... that was 3 things.

I've seen bad thing also on that platform and I block it totally now.

I often times don't fit it with the society normal opinion and I think what I'm seeing is Sheeple all feeding off the same feeder - I'm not a leader, but certainly not a follower either. There is no "Normal" and I see nothing wrong with being an individual. I consider myself to be an outsider and unorthodox. I realized in my mid 20's when I say people parroting the same on auto-pilot catch phrases. I'm glad I don't fit in and I see it as a silly contest.

I've seen animals cry when their owner was crying.

Thank you, I will walk more. Hopefully they will plow the building this year when the snow starts, last year I nearly fell. I read it all and will head your advice.

Wishing you well, Roy

Thank you he left us 4 years ago actually, he's in a better place now and not suffering. I liked your posting but wanted to reply as it would be awful to like your situation. Sorry, I have no words, but we're here for you .

I guess memories of childhood weren't good, but there were bright spots. I think I'm just weird.

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When they say just get over it, this makes it worse. The past does indeed shape us but doesn't have to define us. I'm grateful overall and as a result of the trauma made me the kind and honest and true humble guy I am.

Sort of the same, growing up was bad in so many way and I (truly) lucked out as other didn't make it though, but, somehow I did. I was a good boy, never out late and respected (still do) my elders. I made my parents happy and got baptized (Sundays School and all , can you believe that ... haha) Yep ... never gave my parents trouble, but we were very poor and the holidays were for other people. To this day, I'm humbled in that way and can get by by with very little, but, there was damage that I carry and the list is also too long. Mom was like a soap opera actress but Dad was attracted to such and there is a price to pay. Things weren't always easy to say the very least. Lord knows I was protected or something as the church was evil and the abuse was so obvious but, again, Lucked out. Yeah, you said that before, must be horrible and I can see sleep being rough. I don't sleep well either. Haven't in ages which is partly why I started drinking heavily. I was not a social drinker, rather a stumbling babbling drunk and it was getting out of hand along with other drugs at the time until I decided it was enough and that was it. I knew I could kick the drugs but I didn't think I'd ever stop drinking and I have fatty liver as a result. Ugh. that being said, have you tried medication? I don't know, meds can be addictive so I hate to recommend that. I'm sure have done what you can. I don't have voices in the classic sense either, but, rather, nagging discussions (and auditory sounds and visual ... sorry hard to expalin) with myself from fractured psyche and long standing abuse with various psychedelics (sometimes to feel anything resembling a person) and benzodiazepines cause brain damage and seizures over time and I was abusing everything because I needed to escape. Again, lucky I guess the voices didn't separate into a split personality disorder. Wait, who am I? Oh yes ... Mister Blobfish. Kidding; or am I?! =P Yeah, always feel like a zombie corpse nowadays, so I get that. I also got used to it and sometimes what others call "Illness" is blessing in disguise. I wouldn't want to be "Normal" and my experiences made me whom I am and I wouldn't change anything. I don't know. I want to say, I do appreciate that you've opened up so much here lately. I don't always reply when I have noting helpful to say, but I read everything. I do have days when I not even close to a functional person, moreover, there are times when I feel better and I try to take advantage rather than stay in bed (too easy when sad and depressed). I now open up the blinds and spend time with my peace Lilly. I do have regrets, though. Better (for me) to focus on the future (not that I see a bright one up ahead if I look too far) and take is day-by-day. I don't know. Anyways, enough of my rambling on.. Just grateful to have our little forum and hope we have it for a long while.

Good Sunday morning (or evening) everyone

Absolutely so, people have fought for freedoms that I never take for granted. I wish I knew what to say as I see your bored. I think I had too much action today - sensory overload and I hardly did anything Lol, but oh well, hope you will enjoy a good game perhaps. I remember when I looked forward to Saturdays night to party until 4AM in New York City, but that was mid 90's, and now, I've turned 180 into loner city. You'd never believe it, I was once very social and now ... I'm ok, I guess and I can take bored. My life is so boring and mundane. Just, I don't know really. I'm about ready to turn in early so see you in the AM. Yeah in bed by 10 now. Take care, D Hope everyone is alright.

I don't know, I guess anymore. Need to clean up tomorrow. People here are pigs and don't know that meaning of the word, and my OCD and I have a very different idea of clean. I'm not watching Jim Carey and so happy. He prefers to stay unmediated and deal with is illness his own way. Sorry if I made no sense, wouldn't be the first time. Hope you are well and our posting helped somebody reading to (at least) know they are not alone.

Well I'm just me, but not always positive, but in-between, I'm real and true though, you know that.

Sadly, chlorinated water and Fluoride is the normal for me. I use water filter for drinking water but have to bathe in it. Some believe (Myself included) the danger is Flouride, as it Calcifies The Pineal Gland (our direct line to the healing energy from the planet and erase our spirit) Was awful today and glad to be home but I feel quite muddled and disjointed. Symptoms of heavy metal toxicity: Tremors – Involuntary shaking of fingers or muscles. <--Yes Headaches. <--Yes Infertility for men or women. (NA) Mental “fogginess” feeling confused. <--Yes and Yes Anxiety and depression. <--Yes and Yes Deteriorating eye health. (Not thus far) Memory problems. <--Yes Poor kidney function. (Not that I'm aware) Intestinal and digestive problems. <--Yes Tingling sensations and weakness in the hands, feet, and/or around the mouth. <--Yes Poor immune function – recurrent infections or having an autoimmune disease." <-- NO - I usually get over a cold in a day