“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”

[XPerceniol]

Thank you very much for the reassurance. I really appreciate it.

Edited April 10 by XPerceniol

[XPerceniol]

I don't know. Don't know. Sort of struggling to accept my reality, but if I don't, I'm screwed until they cremate me. Have had to limit news (almost noting at all) and what I watch on TV to mundane programing and movies unless I'm easily triggered into severe depression and despair. I don't know.

[XPerceniol]

I think just cope as best as possible and tomorrows another day. Sorry guys was very bad today. Gonna just go to bed early.

[XPerceniol]

I live a humble simple life. Must appreciate what I do have ... 2 working computers and a modest wardrobe and cds and dvds and 2 nice plants to keep me company. I don't feel like I need anything else, nothing else would make me feel better. I feel incomplete and empty inside and its showing on the outside. Now to add insult to injury and only add to my anxiety I feel as I'm doing something wrong by using Thorium as I read that browser developer is infringing on Supermium which is paid and I can NOT afford to purchase anything at this point as I have spare cash to buy diet coke on my walks so now I don't know what to do anymore. Likely just stick with 360 Redux until that day comes and just go with Linux completely if these computers are even still working - they're on their 'last legs' and barely hanging on - like me. Its been said they would like all of use to be on phones only and I'm fighting it - I don't like phones and don't want a smart phone. They allow me to use a computer but the catch is I can only have 1 working at a time and this Dell 745 Optiplex is the better of the two so I rarely fire up the Dell Dimension anymore only to update Mypal68. I guess, Like, I don't know, other priorities are more important like my health. Sort of been trying to taper off the Clonazepam and one day be free from that monkey but there is never gonna be a good time and my anxiety and stress levels are through the roof; currently. My doctors are working with me on this and they know (full well) what I'm going through but I don't want any more medication to be added to the list. I already feel Dumbed down enough already and flat and stunted, but my thought process(es) lead me to dark places of hopelessness and we don't know what to do about that and my Derealization is not managed and I can't tell between that and this crazy world anymore. 

Edited 4 hours ago by XPerceniol

[XPerceniol]

https://www.uwphotographyguide.com/fish-behavior

This makes me happy.

[XPerceniol]

I think I need to stop thinking and just 'be" and whatever happens happens, I'm just along for the ride I guess, how long, who knows. I don't know.

Gonna settle in with a chamomile tea and just be grateful and true!

About all I can expect lately. I'm automatically by nature Kind and Mindful (too much sometimes) but hard to be positive. I don't know. 

Could be worse! I'm fortunate in a lot of ways, I guess and need to see that for what it is, just struggling with my reality

Ok, peace out.......

Edited 2 hours ago by XPerceniol

[sonyu]

 

https://youtu.be/wJ46Y6xt2pU

 

https://youtu.be/SFYRVVpatqo

 

https://youtu.be/-7QhRdhtnzE

Edited 1 hour ago by sonyu

[XPerceniol]

Thank you, it means more than you realize to me that you took the time to post those songs.

Walk Unafraid ... Stop Crying Your Eyes Out ... Bad Day...

And by those artists ...

Means a lot; will try.