mina7601 Posted November 20, 2023 Share Posted November 20, 2023 1 minute ago, XPerceniol said: Thank you my friend, I'm getting better and I can not like anymore posting today so that must have changed as I've been away for a long time. Yes, you got that right. The like/upvote limit has been reduced: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 20, 2023 Author Share Posted November 20, 2023 Just now, mina7601 said: Yes, you got that right. The like/upvote limit has been reduced: Yeah, that is a bummer because I need to thank a lot of people but Oh well. How are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mina7601 Posted November 20, 2023 Share Posted November 20, 2023 Just now, XPerceniol said: How are you? I'm fine, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 20, 2023 Author Share Posted November 20, 2023 Just now, mina7601 said: I'm fine, thanks. Oh good to know 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 23, 2023 Author Share Posted November 23, 2023 I have some good days and some bad and this was a bad day ... my mind is mush and I make on sense at all. I feel 'all over the place' to be honest. I only feel comfortable posting in this thread when I need to get things out. Hopefully I'll be in better shape tomorrow for the Parade. The Staff was a bit concerned today because I didn't come out of my room and haven't left the house in a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 23, 2023 Author Share Posted November 23, 2023 Unbearable Brain Fog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 23, 2023 Author Share Posted November 23, 2023 We'll be eating early today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 23, 2023 Author Share Posted November 23, 2023 (edited) I've noticed my memory has not come back to me 100% just yet. I still feel 'all over the place' and easily triggered but negativity even the smallest of event which is why I've been hiding lately. I've also become heavily medicated and the after affects are horrible. Edited November 23, 2023 by XPerceniol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 23, 2023 Author Share Posted November 23, 2023 (edited) For some reason I find holidays a trigger as I have no family in the area, not that I would want that (the traditional thanksgiving dinner table where people ask "Please Pass The Potatoes") but even I get absorbed by society's brainwashing; just sometimes though and I wear the badge of loner very well. Edited November 23, 2023 by XPerceniol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 24, 2023 Author Share Posted November 24, 2023 Bed time can't come quick enough for me today. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legacyfan Posted November 24, 2023 Share Posted November 24, 2023 welcome back @Xperceniol you have been missed here 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 24, 2023 Author Share Posted November 24, 2023 Thank you, today I'm not very functional so I'll stay quiet I think. Good to see you around again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted November 24, 2023 Author Share Posted November 24, 2023 Struggling pretty badly to be honest with only the basics of functions. Gonna take a long time they tell me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted December 8, 2023 Author Share Posted December 8, 2023 (edited) Good morning all, well it is here anyway. Ha! Unfortunately last night I watched something that triggered me into a sadness and that only increased my depression so that made for a rough night and I'm still a bit affected today and a bit worried and confused about others things I'm not ready to mention on the forum; so today, I'm gonna start with this meditation That Increases Your Positive Energy, Eliminate Fears. I need to remember that society is toxic nowadays more than ever and even science has its shortcomings. I find society to be so narrow and rigid and this only increases my agoraphobia and social phobia. Speaking of which, I've not been going out much lately at all and week long bouts stuck inside locked up only makes the situations worse. Sorry if my writing is a bit off today and I'm not sure how much posting I'll do today. Good news to ad is I'm also posting again on the XP Forum in addition to MSFN again. https://www.xpforums.com/find-new/posts https://www.xpforums.com/members/xperceniol.2881/ If you decide to give this one a listen, only give it as long as you need - could be 5 minutes or longer if you feel its working and you can connect to it. I try to not post meditation videos that require you to listen to the end. This one I'm post is just music with chord progressions to be uplifting and please read the comments. EDIT: Sorry guys, I just posted and I'm not getting around to fixing my mistakes, though, doing so also seems a bit disingenuous because this thread is to reflect my state of mind and the mistakes do just that. Know what I'll leave it be now that I think of it so hopefully you can read through the mistakes seeing my mind is quite scattered and raw so is the posting. Edited December 8, 2023 by XPerceniol 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPerceniol Posted December 9, 2023 Author Share Posted December 9, 2023 (edited) Good morning! Today is better that yesterday by a stretch, partly/mostly because I avoided known triggers and am doing so watching DVDs this morning to avoid the news and politics. We are in troubled times and there is nothing I can do about it to change it so why subject myself when I'm already in a fragile state of mind. Any stress or negativity can easily spiral into a deep state of despair and this only reminds me I've not (fully) recovered from Covid and I'm still pretty weak - both physically and mentally. The trouble is outside in while in public its hard to avoid what is directly in your face and I'm quite aware when things are not as they seem/appear. Today we are supposed to make a trip to the mall and my anxiety is through the roof but I've decided it would be good for me as I've been isolate and reclusive for too long and the thoughts going around in my head (can at times) lead me into the rabbit hole. Hope everyone is managing as best as can be during the holiday hustle - guess I'll be witnessing it first-hand myself today. I try to put on a brave face and avoid too much eye contact with strangers. Edited December 9, 2023 by XPerceniol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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