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“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”


XPerceniol
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Sal, first of all you have to leave the house every day, promise me this, please! Take walks in the woods if you have the opportunity, please, feed your fishes etc. You mean your age is 50? Then you are very young!

Maybe you have bad health, sorry?. HelpGuide with some tips I've found: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-a-life-threatening-illness.htm 

You tell me that you don't want to open the Café topic anymore, so make another one that will suit you! And of course continue to express your feelings in this topic. 
But before all go for a walk every day, describe everything you see, promise me please...

 

 

So I've decided to give this at try and seen if it helps ... a good man here suggested I try again with a topic as I'm finding myself intruding on others threads and bringing my nonsense and disrupting peoples projects and hard work.

So ...

Monday and here I am, sitting here and I feel (truly) hopeless. Don't know what to even say. Hope without effort ... empty promises and so on and whatnot.

I'm honestly not sure the mods will even allow me a thread and It doesn't have to be about me and I need no rescue, life has taught me the only one that comes to save your is YOURSELF!

Perhaps, I know hard sometimes, please may I ask just those 5 things in this thread. Very hard to detox in this toxic world and largely I've just avoided everything and I'm not reclusive, antisocial hermit and life is not standing still. Sometimes.

sorry, have to stop and take break for a while, maybe.

All I can promise is I'll try. Want to give up but just can't. Cant.

Edited by XPerceniol
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Okay .. I'll need to connect again to what I've become disconnected which is awareness and repair broken spirit.

Okay .. appears to people reading my postings would think I'm cheery ... just pushing powering through the pain, I guess.

Somebody is coming by today and I will have to go outside, I can go for walk, but then the entire time, can't wait to get back inside. Yeah, is what it is, people overcome much worse.

Will check in in another few hours as I'm getting dressed almost every day stay in sweat pants, but I'm OCD about cleanliness. People scare me, I think, and I don't see things will get better, don't know even what "better' would be anyway. This is IT and here we are ... most important, I'm still (stuck) here for some reason, I guess.

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Posted (edited)

Maybe I'm WRONG and I'm opposite of reality.

Perhaps:

1. I'm too Kind and saved no kindness for myself. Nice guys Finnish last, or so they say.

2. I'm 100% genuine in a fake word. This is to be expected especially to those on "the spectrum" and things are always taken latterly with little grey area. Sorry, the correct words are escaping me and I could fail somebody reading.

3. Positive, not so much, just accept it - ebb and flow.

4. I'm grateful for what I have and wanted (see .. bad to use past tense) hardly anything and expected little in return as I put my entire self.

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4. I'm grateful for what I have and wanted (see .. bad to use past tense) hardly anything and expected little in return as I put my entire self.

^Warning, this is a dangerous downturn thinking patter, try to avoid and distract until better. "Wanted" means too late as "Expected" and "as I put". Should be, going forward, I''' be grateful for what I have and what comes to me and expect the unexpected and still put in 100%.

5. I'm too mindful, but can't go back and pretend its a rose garden.

Okay..

6. People say..

What goes around comes around - I don't believe that anymore. Maybe when I'm gone it will come back around, but doubt it. Everything people say ... Gawd I sound like George Carlin and bitter for falling for the lies.

Sorry guys, maybe just needed to get get some s*** out or something. Hope Y'all doin' better than I. Sucks to be prison to own mind.

Please take anything I say with a grain of salt.

Edited by XPerceniol
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Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, XPerceniol said:

Maybe I'm WRONG and I'm opposite of reality.

Perhaps:

1. I'm too Kind and saved no kindness for myself. Nice guys Finnish last, or so they say.

2. I'm 100% genuine in a fake word. This is to be expected especially to those on "the spectrum" and things are always taken latterly with little grey area. Sorry, the correct words are escaping me and I could fail somebody reading.

3. Positive, not so much, just accept it - ebb and flow.

4. I'm grateful for what I have and wanted (see .. bad to use past tense) hardly anything and expected little in return as I put my entire self.

^Warning, this is a dangerous downturn thinking patter, try to avoid and distract until better. "Wanted" means too late as "Expected" and "as I put". Should be, going forward, I''' be grateful for what I have and what comes to me and expect the unexpected and still put in 100%.

5. I'm too mindful, but can't go back and pretend its a rose garden.

Okay..

6. People say..

What goes around comes around - I don't believe that anymore. Maybe when I'm gone it will come back around, but doubt it. Everything people say ... Gawd I sound like George Carlin and bitter for falling for the lies.

Sorry guys, maybe just needed to get get some s*** out or something. Hope Y'all doin' better than I. Sucks to be prison to own mind.

Please take anything I say with a grain of salt.

Least don't feel bad about posting too much, the sub forum doesn't count toward post count :)

We'll see unless this gets closed I would understand.

Be careful when reading seeking answers online, sometimes, what appears to be sound advice isn't coming form a good place and I stumbled across this .

Quote

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”

I'm have a serious issues with labeling people as "Traumatized People". However, there is some truth to hiding from your own self. Exterior Vs Interior ... a little of both to complete the being as when missing in other areas we do what we can to work on other areas. Hope that made sense - likely not.

The past IS NOT alive - its gone. Thinking back to even a second ago and you're already losing time. You can't go back, lord knows I wish I could ... not really. Its today regardless of toll it took (sorry, struggling) to be here past it. worse for the wear we crawl. That being said: Always trust your "gut feelings" I'm alive today because I never ignored them, they are there in the form of anxiety but not to avoid reality but to better be prepared and have learned from that 6th sense. You (we) are not asleep at the wheel, only we can regain control the our reaction to the processes (not the processes themselves), rather, be better at seeing the warning signs earlier so not caught off guard.

Will need to finish though later, but numb and desensitized are not the same and we (I, myself, often) confuse the two.

I feel bad about the poor grammar but this was/is very raw and I didn't correct too much to remain genuine.

Edited by XPerceniol
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We're all just suffering in silence and making our way the bet as possible.

See, I don't want to change - there is nothing wrong with me - I'm fine just in opposition and should expect nonetheless.

It's natural for me to be kind to otherwise as was (will never be) a jerk. Learned than my dearly deserted father. He just said know when to fold em, son. Miss him deeply.

Just (at least not if not true to other) be true to yourself and accept yourself and there no harsher language to cause you hurt than you own - try creative criticism

Rather than walk around with rose colored glasses, just see the balance avoid too negative or cynical towards others and embrace differences. People are not cookie-cuter copies and should be robots, but, see this struggle with people trying fit/blend in to what society distastes

I'm grateful for so much .. dare is say blessed. Life could have taken a different turn and be in group home, but with assistance I can lead an independence lit. I don't want or desire anything. Win the lottery would be awesome but i don't even play Lol

The key for me is:

to (and I recommend to others) be mindful of our situations(s) but don't get stuck and parallelized, seek our even small changes to improve you existence.

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On 7/18/2022 at 1:14 PM, XPerceniol said:

The past IS NOT alive - its gone. Thinking back to even a second ago and you're already losing time.

Please - make no mistake - its is easier said than done. When I woke up last night a wrote all that (yeah, I think I remember Lol) I was still reaching back to the past trying to resolved situations that can't be changed. Hope this makes sense.

Sorry, I just don't care much for labels in general as they are often to group misfits together so we can be dismissed as "Traumatized People" or "Damaged Goods". Of course, we are all "Effected" people by our experiences and the past shapes us but doesn't define us. Whats the option, to live a sheltered life and close eyes once opened; you can't. I believe (personally) there are no accidents and people cross paths and situations happen for a reason. Would I (truly) go back, no, wouldn't want to, just want to improve starting today. Today will be yesterday tomorrow and somehow have to learn without becoming...

Oops, when I write, its sitting here writing and backspace in the reply box as its comes to me raw and I lost my thoughts. This happens and is to be expected. My therapist often gets me back on track or allow me to trail off depending on the seriousness of the topic. 

So I will hit "Submit Reply"

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Hello Sal, glad you've new thread!:cheerleader:

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.” 

- I fully endorse these words, of course...

 

Random Acts of Kindness That Will Make You Cry !

 

 

Edited by msfntor
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I can't really understand what this post is about and I don't want to act stupid here, but it's crazy how much the human mind works against itself. I could go on forever about so many things psychologically but I don't, as I have been taught from others, that my words in that realm are pointless.

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16 hours ago, msfntor said:

TRUTH:

 

Is Anything Real?

 

How to Slow Aging (and even reverse it)

 

Future Computers Will Be Radically Different

 

I just got up .. ugh ... a thousand degrees here today. I will watch those videos and reply a bit later.

Thank you for your support.

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14 hours ago, sunryze said:

I can't really understand what this post is about and I don't want to act stupid here, but it's crazy how much the human mind works against itself. I could go on forever about so many things psychologically but I don't, as I have been taught from others, that my words in that realm are pointless.

Worry not about acting stupid, for me, its not an act. Ha!

I know I could really go on forever but at some point, just seems, when all is said and done, its true that words alone without action is complaining and this isn't helpful. If I may ask (again, no need to reply if you don't feel comfortable), when you say "I have been taught from others" who or whom are you referring to? People along the way have proven to me to be quite disingenuous and some people change their opinion more than they change their underwear. Did you read my posting about trusting your "gut feelings"? You felt compelled to reply not knowing fully what this post/topic is about, but you did, and I assure you, your words and posting was NOT pointless.

Will reply a bit later.

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16 hours ago, msfntor said:

TRUTH:

 

Is Anything Real?

Yes! Please be mindful about something or a situation being real (reality) and that can be blurred when nothing struggling to grasp onto something tangible. The latter can often lead us to question 'is Anything Real". Sure feels read, sounds real enough for me to consider it real, and while my (or others) truth might stray, we're al very much connected and only on rare occasion will you be fooled into mistruth or false belief(s).

People don't always do what they say or say what they do, we need to gather up the information much like we do talking computers and programs and try to troubleshoot to figure out to where Therein Lies the Truth; therefore, a lie can become truth but we need to do the work or else blind followers we become. I'm not easily lead, once was but learned to question and now have come to a better understanding of where some of things people said come from ... not always a good place comes good advice, but also sometimes from a good place comes bad advice. Does that make sense?

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Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, sunryze said:

...but it's crazy how much the human mind works against itself...

Its because there is conflict within so the mind fights us. Will explain better later about acceptance. Very very difficult but there is reason.

Again, I remind you:

That "gut feeling" is not wrong, but be careful, as the gut feeling(s) that lead to impulsive actions are the once to cause concern.

But, yes it is absurd and (truly) incredible the extent of how our minds process information much like a computer - when the OS become too giant and start to take over the user, this is a problem at least in my book.

Edited by XPerceniol
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