#3: An eight-year-old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the barmaid, "Give me a double Scotch on the rocks." "What do you want to do, get me in trouble?" the barmaid asked. "Maybe later," the kid said. "Right now, I just want the Scotch." #4: A fellow was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything. Besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants so I'm stumped." His buddy says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex any way she wants it? She'll probably be thrilled." So the fellow did. The next day his buddy says, "Well, did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," replies the fellow. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll be back in an hour.'"