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“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”

XPerceniol

By XPerceniol
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XPerceniol

XPerceniol

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Good day all.

I was going to post last night when I returned from the outing but I was both physically and mentally drained from being around people. People wear me out and I DO notice the fakery that embodies people nowadays and the way they conduct themselves and interact with each other. While on one hand I get jealous and wish I had this (again fake) social talent people inhabit, on the other hand I'm even more glad I'm a loner and an individual and there is nothing wrong with being a 'misfit' - here's to all the misfits out there HAHA!. I spent most of the evening (hours into the night) still trying to wrap my head around and process what I witnessed whilst being out in public people partaking ny running up their credit cards to buy gifts because people are only concerned about receiving 'stuff' this year rather than the appreciating what they already have which also makes me glad I don't have to partake in this madness and fakery and trickery to 'one up' one another when it comes time to exchange gifts around the Christmas tree and I'm also glad I don't have to subject myself to spending time around family members that I can't stand all year long only to pretend to be happy when I'm not (truly) being genuine. I pride myself (I do use the term loosely) in being TRUE and genuine - I'm very much a take me or leave me kind of guy and what you see is what you get; flaws and all. So you see folks just how much I examine people and situations which says more about me and how far on the spectrum I am. So that should wrap up yesterday and I'm be happy this week spending time with my new plant and enjoying and appreciating the peace and quiet and solace of my own company and yesterday reminded me of just why I don't enjoy going out much.

So this lovely morning I'm drinking a tea that is a mix of green tea with Turmeric, curry leaves, clove, pepper cumin seed and cinnamon with pure honey for focus and to detox both the body and mind and prepare for a day to partake on the forums. I'm a little bummed that I'm out of likes/upvotes because I wanted to react to several postings so I'll either just respond with a reply or wait till the system resets and react another time.

Hope everyone is having an amazing Sunday out there and coping with the hectic holidays ahead and the hustle and bustle that goes along with it. Please try to be appreciative of what you DO have and if you have people within your life that you enjoy, tell them and express you appreciate them not only by exchanging gifts but let them know that you do care because life is short and you don't want to let those moments go by. Doesn't have to be all mushy and sappy, just don't be afraid to at the very least give a fist bump or hand shake if not a hug to those you care about this year when the world is in turmoil for others out there struggling to just survive in other countries. Yes society as a whole is toxic and fake (at least that is how I see it) , when in your own little bubble comfort zone life doesn't have to always be bad and it doesn't rain everyday.

Be well folks.

EDIT: Just fixing mistakes, sorry guys about the multiple edits but I wanted this to make sense and raw is was a bit messy Lol.

Edited by XPerceniol
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XPerceniol

XPerceniol

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Man, in some ways I do still feel young, but I'm not, and in a lot of ways I Do indeed feel every day and second of 50 years old. My body and personality traits give it away and I'm trying to embrace it but easier said than done.

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XPerceniol

XPerceniol

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On 11/24/2023 at 2:49 PM, legacyfan said:

welcome back @Xperceniol you have been missed here

Just wanted to let you know I left you a posting and reply to your hello on my profile on the XP forum so please check and I do miss you here and hope you decide to return, but if not, I understand and I hope you and your family have nice holiday season and happy new year in advance.

Sincerely Yours

Sal

ps: just wanted to let you know I'm also hoping you @sunryze will decide to return here and we miss you very much, but, same, if not, only wishing you the very best in life and a happiness to you and thank you for that heartfelt posting in the cafe - I read if more than 1 time and I hope it helped you to open up because those 2 shoulders weren't designed to carry the weight of the world alone, but YOU have the strength to carry on forward even in the face of hostility that is this society we live in filled with people that can't accept anything different and people will try to put you in a box and put a label on you; while labels are important on paper, they don't define you. Don't forget people need a boogie-man and anyone that doesn't fit the typical (I consider myself to be atypical and I'm not ashamed to admit that - nothing wrong with it IMO) just always be TRUE and genuine ... at least to yourself don't worry about other people too much anymore as I've gotten older I've learnt to care much less what people think of me and save more of that focus on improving my own well-being in my own little bubble. Am I promoting isolation and becoming a loner, NO, I'm not at all, in fact I do sincerely hope at some point (don't rush it) you will find people you can relate to and people you will enjoy spending time around and I think, and if you are not afraid to be yourself (which you aren't at all) you'll attract like-minded folks that are nonjudgmental and open minded because I (truly) feel sorry for closed minded people that are rigid and nasty, can you imagine going through life that way? Of course you can't and you wouldn't want to. I struggle myself which is why I chose my words carefully to not come across as a hypocrite.

Again, no rush to reply or need to reply at all but I do you at some point get a chance to read this and get something positive from it because I mean well, but I admit I don't always get it right because I'm a flawed human just trying to make it through life myself and I've designed what works best for me and sometimes that is to stand back and just observer the absurdity of some social interactions that I witness and the way(s) people need to put on a fake persona to gain acceptance. Sure we would love a world of acceptance but that is a fantasy and expecting this is a setup for disappointment because look what has happened and still happening politically already and sorry to say this but I don't see things getting better anytime soon so make the best of it and protect yourself and only let your guard down when you feel doing so won't put you in a vulnerable position. 

Be well, friend and never fear, You've come a long way since your started here and I know there are good things up ahead for you.

Take good care.

EDIT: Sorry guys about the multiple edits trying to make some kind of sense (not easy this morning) for a change HAHA ;)

Edited by XPerceniol
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XPerceniol

XPerceniol

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8 minutes ago, K4sum1 said:

I've been unsure about posting since I'm not the best at understanding emotions. I hope you feel better in the future. I won't be able to really help though.

Wow .. so great to see you, you've always been so nice to me and I appreciate that. Just that fact the you posted here in my little old thread means more to me than you realize and no worries about trying to help me, I'm WAY beyond help. Ha! :lol:

I hope you are doing well yourself and you do fine at understanding emotions and as far as what the future brings, who knows, I do want to fell better but I'm not seeking happiness rather solace and to be able to not be filled with regret(s) going forward.

Thank you so much and have a nice holiday and happy new year if we don't talk sooner.

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K4sum1

K4sum1

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I'm doing pretty well. I've never really been depressed for an extended period of time, aside from one time in the past which I don't want to get into. I mostly just treat things as a joke, including myself.

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docR

docR

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9 hours ago, K4sum1 said:

I'm doing pretty well. I've never really been depressed for an extended period of time, aside from one time in the past which I don't want to get into. I mostly just treat things as a joke, including myself.

A long stent in the Ambassador Brig may change that perspective, excluding the latter part. Be glad you haven't paid the place a visit.

 

 

bridge.png

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XPerceniol

XPerceniol

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Quote

I'm doing pretty well.

That's awesome... "pretty well" ... could be better but could be worse; for sure.

:cool:

Quote

I've never really been depressed for an extended period of time, aside from one time in the past which I don't want to get into.

Yeah, I've dealt with depression for as long as I can remember and its a daily struggle, from what you wrote that "one time" sounds more like situational depression and we all go through that and don't let anybody try to fool you into thinking that everyone is happy all the time or there is such a thing as normal because there isn't, and we understand you don't wan' to get into it, sometime better to leave unpleasant memories and situations left in the past because yesterdays is over and we need to focus on today. Not to self: need to remember to take my own advice Haha :o

Quote

I mostly just treat things as a joke, including myself.

Yeah, me too, I used to be really uptight but now as I've gotten older I don't take myself all that seriously - that is a good way to live and I feel sorry for people that can't loosen up. Good for you.

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mina7601

mina7601

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4 hours ago, XPerceniol said:

For some reason I've ran out of like already and I've only given 1 :angry:

Yeah, this happens to me too sometimes and it's very annoying.

4 hours ago, XPerceniol said:

sometimes a reply means more than a like/upvote.

Even though I do agree with this statement, it doesn't mean we should ignore the existence of likes/upvotes.

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  • 3 weeks later...
xrobwx71

xrobwx71

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On 11/23/2023 at 12:57 PM, XPerceniol said:

heavily medicated and the after affects are horrible

If you don't mind my asking, which medications? If you'd rather that in a PM or rather not say, I understand. 

I don't have depression but I do have Agoraphobia and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I've lived with it for 20+ years. 10 years ago it was horrible and debilitating but I have found coping mechanisms and meds (I've been on them all) that help. In the past, I used alcohol as a self med but that was a complete disaster. As of Dec 31, 2023, I am 12 years sober.

 

I am sure you don't know me but in all sincerity, I pray peace visits you often.

 

Rob

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XPerceniol

XPerceniol

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3 hours ago, xrobwx said:

If you don't mind my asking, which medications? If you'd rather that in a PM or rather not say, I understand. 

I don't have depression but I do have Agoraphobia and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I've lived with it for 20+ years. 10 years ago it was horrible and debilitating but I have found coping mechanisms and meds (I've been on them all) that help. In the past, I used alcohol as a self med but that was a complete disaster. As of Dec 31, 2023, I am 12 years sober.

 

I am sure you don't know me but in all sincerity, I pray peace visits you often.

 

Rob

I might get back to you on that to which you mentioned above when I'm better able ...but for now, congratulations on being 12 years sober, Rob (I'm also a teetotal now myself after YEARS of both drug and alcohol - Now only what the doctor prescribes me; only)

Thank you for your well wishes and kind words - they mean a lot to me.

Sincerely,

Sal

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