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The MSFN café - A Penny for Your Thoughts


XPerceniol

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Posted (edited)

Overall things could be better but could be MUCH worse and I've taken back my morning walks to the store because I don't drive and the other guys here drive me crazy and I want to get out. I've also restarted using cologne again (for me, not for others) I feel it improves my self-esteem and I like guys cologne again and got sick of women's perfume. I can always switch it up as I see fit; of course.

Still have to filter out the news or totally not watch it at all which leaves me uninformed to a large degree. I don't have a smart phone and I now (why I see it now is beyond me) but people are wearing smart watches and I hear music and see people talking on it ... and wonder to myself wtf ... you can't wait?!?! Besides I'm in no mental state yet to digest any bad news because we are in political nightmare city in the US now and we couldn't be more divided and I keep my view(s) to myself around other humans. Even Hollywood is breaking down now and those folks we put up on a pedestal are seeing what comes along with that star status and karma is a beyotch.   

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Still whilst coming a (very) long way, I still have a (very very) long way to go to improve myself and get back what life has robbed away from me, but I have more drive than I did before and the determination is strong to get healthy again because its been too much wallowing in self pity for far too long and whilst its good to rest, there is a huge difference between resting and wallowing and staying down in the gutter (which I've been guilty as charged). I've also started to go through the closet and wear things besides sweat pants all the time in a depressed state of mind and I get in the shower now early and am also shaving again and trimming the beard up to a neater look to improve that self-esteem.

Sure, yes, I know I can't get back the years I drank away and lost and are now gone, but I want to make my remaining time on this god forsaken planet (somewhat) worth it. I guess I just want to be left alone at 50 (hard 50 years and believe me it show on my body every day and second). I don't like talking on the phone and people are FAKE FAKE FAKE and I simply have no time to put up with other poeple(s) ways and traits. I will speak to a few people but I keep it on a superficial level and I'll NEVER EVER trust anybody ever again. Nobody will ever be able to break down the human firewall guard I keep up. People have let me down far too many times to even allow myself to ever trust again; even though I Still wear my heart on my sleeve because I can't help it - its whom I am. People play mind games and even today on the walk I waved hello and I think I said hi and got back a very dude(ish) peace sign in return ... it 'seemed' friendly but I know better because people can't hide from me and I "see" the *real deal* regarding people and their games. For me and my own self preservation just best to play along and go with the flow with the current and with the tide and change while in motion for forget quickly because life is about NOW and that moment is gone and best to be prepared for the next moment.  

Well I had no intent to write today but apparently I needed to do such so I indulged myself.

I sincerely hope everyone here at MSFN is doing well. I guess life is so short sometimes and we never know our expatriation date(s). 

Be well, guys.

Sal

EDIT: Sorry guys, yeah right, like anybody is reading anyway hahahaha but information comes to me scattered and my mind works in mysterious ways and that is why so many edits an also have to fix mistakes (brain damage) sorry.

Yeah, I just realized I spilled soda in the keyboard - its sticky but I think I can clean it up and they keys work fine luckily.

Ok and still thinking of you @Digidave AKA Ponder. See Dave ... I don't give up on friends that easy, but sorry, I can't go back to AF. I put AF in the past where is belongs; hope you understand, Dave. Beside that forum now belongs to Pedro and the trolls. I'm still a proud Square Peg!

Edited by XPerceniol
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Posted (edited)

I can't guarantee every day will be a 'good day' but I need to take advantage of those moments and make the best of them in the best way(s) possible. Digidave AKA Ponder used to tell me that I shouldn't wallow for too long and I remember that advice ... along with its 100% "normal" to be unstable in a 100% unstable world. I actually doubt he'll see this and I don't know where he posts anymore either and I don't cyber stalk either. Just a few places and the same old thing everyday for me like a broken record. Some tech news here and there, I don't know.

I guess I miss the old MSFN when I joined in 2018 as sal here and the way it used to be and there was this togetherness that is no longer present; but maybe I'm alone in this feeling - quite possible. I joined manly for @roytam1 and his browser builds and learned a lot (still learning) and here I am mister blobfish, but perhaps all things must change and all good things come to an end eventually. People part ways and friendships break and I had to learn that the hard way and I'll never allow anybody very close anymore to prevent hurt because I'm actually VERY sensitive. Even us blobfish have feelings; you know.

Ok and okay..

Just a quiet evening with my plant.

See ya in the AM

L8r

Edited by XPerceniol
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On 1/4/2024 at 5:13 PM, XPerceniol said:

Sorry guys, yeah right, like anybody is reading anyway hahahaha

I have.

Yeah, try to make the best of the time here is most we can try. Another decade is behind me as well, it's weird.

Not much else comes to my mind to say right now, but looking forward to a quiet weekend.

Oh, yeah, don't like what little I hear on TV, it's mad. No idea where this world is going.

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Posted (edited)

Hi there and just the fact that you replied tells me that something I said was meaningful and my presence at MSFN is for a reason and purpose.

Yeah we just make the best of life as possible given the circumstances and yeah I tend to think in decades, too.

No worries you said plenty with (both) what you wrote and didn't. Just those 2 words "I have" made my day, my friend.

Yes and quiet is good without TV (especially the news) sometimes and I rely on my DVD collection as of late with my plant. Like for instance right now I have ever so slightly amityville horror running whilst I'm on here typing and its quiet and the guys are doing their own thing and not bothering me.

I think you guys know when I go all mister blobfish on ya I'm just joking or got hit with the silly stick - I don't even know how that started or when but one day it came to me and now I'm (the lovable) mister blobfish of MSFN. ha! :lol:

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Be well @UCyborg and again, thank you very much and you're doing just great and making a living whilst following your gut feeling(s) and look at how you've contributed to MSFN (not just the money) but with your knowledge and honesty. I (and I'm sure I'm not alone) look forward to hearing much more you have to tell us about anything.

Sal

Edited by XPerceniol
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4 hours ago, XPerceniol said:

amityville horror running whilst I'm on here typing

Horror films aren't generally recommended for sensitive people.

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Posted (edited)

Us folks here at MSFN are POSITIVE.. POSITIVE.. POSITIVE.. :cheerleader:

Anybody have any good jokes to cheer up this place? Ok I'll start!

I'm not a fan of spring cleaning. Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. :lol:

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Edited by XPerceniol
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This is Cujo 5-1 to any friendly units in D.C., Hammerdown is in effect. I repeat, Hammerdown is in effect. If you are receiving this transmission, you are in a hardened high-value structure. Deploy green flares on the roof of this structure to indicate that you are still combat effective. We will abort our mission on direct visual contact with this counter-sign.

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