The MSFN café - A Penny for Your Thoughts

[UCyborg]

On 1/2/2023 at 10:05 PM, mina7601 said:

Hello, how's everyone for now? I feel less depressed nowadays.

I'm on leave this week, so more relaxed at least.

Depression is an old friend of mine, when everyone else is gone, she's still there. I've got dragged to the doctor once, they must have thought my relationship with her got unhealthy.

It was weird, the only question I remember being asked by my personal physician is if I have a girlfriend. I've got pills and got referred to a psychiatrist. I only went there once, we were just talking a bit. I asked what's the point of trying to achieve anything since none of it matter when you die. His answer was simply that it matters while you're here. I don't remember anything else from that session.

I only took few of those pills (Lexapro - Escitalopram) and oh boy...never again! I don't know how to put it, but it's like they drained me of my essence. Just felt completely empty, so stopped taking them.

It was a time when I had no idea how to go on. Finish school or seek employment...both mission impossible. The latter somehow proved possible. Seemingly had more luck than brains, but since then, I guess I am what they call "functional member of society". Kinda lame overall, but I'm sailing through it. With a bit of a mindless, repetitive, passive fun thrown in-between.

7 hours ago, msfntor said:

https://babylonbee.com/news/12-alpha-male-tips-for-getting-tons-of-women

Quote

12. Come to think of it, just avoid women at all costs: Because they love men, which is gay.

5 hours ago, D.Draker said:

1900 - 1943 nice times, I'd want to live during that times.

1 hour ago, XPerceniol said:

Yeah, I've always considered myself and "old soul".

I imagine I'd be even more lost then than I am now.

[XPerceniol]

1 hour ago, UCyborg said:

I'm on leave this week, so more relaxed at least.

Depression is an old friend of mine, when everyone else is gone, she's still there. I've got dragged to the doctor once, they must have thought my relationship with her got unhealthy.

It was weird, the only question I remember being asked by my personal physician is if I have a girlfriend. I've got pills and got referred to a psychiatrist. I only went there once, we were just talking a bit. I asked what's the point of trying to achieve anything since none of it matter when you die. His answer was simply that it matters while you're here. I don't remember anything else from that session.

I only took few of those pills (Lexapro - Escitalopram) and oh boy...never again! I don't know how to put it, but it's like they drained me of my essence. Just felt completely empty, so stopped taking them.

It was a time when I had no idea how to go on. Finish school or seek employment...both mission impossible. The latter somehow proved possible. Seemingly had more luck than brains, but since then, I guess I am what they call "functional member of society". Kinda lame overall, but I'm sailing through it. With a bit of a mindless, repetitive, passive fun thrown in-between.

I imagine I'd be even more lost then than I am now.

I'm reading now and will reply; I promise. Ok, gonna reply in parts as it comes to me. Will edit this only a few times a make 2 others postings.

First off:

So glad you are on leave this week and I (truly) hope you will find something to enjoy. Yes, I'm one to talk as I struggle to leave the house.

Edited January 3, 2023 by XPerceniol

[XPerceniol]

2 hours ago, UCyborg said:

 I only went there once, we were just talking a bit. I asked what's the point of trying to achieve anything since none of it matter when you die. His answer was simply that it matters while you're here. I don't remember anything else from that session.

He was right and hard to accept that but its about the 'here and now' - today and tomorrow (or in this case this week on leave for you - not even yesterday [its gone and over])  and it is quite understandable that you don't remember much ... I've been in therapy most all of my life and sometime I remember or recall little from sessions, but I try to be kind to myself and understand myself as I give understanding to other but save little for myself.

Pills are only part of the solution and more or less (more than less) its about interpreting the process(s) that bring you to low feeling of worthlessness. You are not worthless and you have purpose, but not always easy to see. Any of us could not wake up and there would be no tomorrow.

Will finish as it comes to me.

EDIT:

Corrections

Edited January 3, 2023 by XPerceniol

[XPerceniol]

2 hours ago, UCyborg said:

and oh boy...never again! I don't know how to put it, but it's like they drained me of my essence. Just felt completely empty, so stopped taking them.

Right ... they numb us and rob us of emotions and deaden us. Some might disagree, but pills were only supposed to be *as needed* but became the "fix" and the brain adapts to the med and you just need to change meds or increase and this roller-coaster is bad. Your essence is not the depression which is why you said it "drained" you ... because the depressions is lingering and fooling you (tricking you) into believing you are weak; and you are not. You were right to stop them and that was not a good combination - I am medicated but have been for a while and still I have bad days, but you see, today it not one of them.  

EDIT: Fixing mistakes.

Edited January 3, 2023 by XPerceniol

[XPerceniol]

2 hours ago, UCyborg said:

I guess I am what they call "functional member of society". Kinda lame overall, but I'm sailing through it. With a bit of a mindless, repetitive, passive fun thrown in-between.
 

Ahhhh ... yes, society what is that? I'm far removed from it but I do get it. Haha ....

You are sailing on rough waters and the tide is changing - go with the flow even if feels repetitive but make sure its exciting and fun and go with the current even when the waves are going against you.

You sound healthy and strong to me but a bit jaded much like our beloved George Denis Patrick Carlin. Wasn't he great but oh so bitter and very loved. He always said he was a misfit, and honestly nothing wrong so long as not hurting yourself.

Never give up and keep sailing though and accept the mindless guidance. 

EDIT: add more information and fixing mistakes.

Edited January 3, 2023 by XPerceniol

[mina7601]

2 hours ago, UCyborg said:

I'm on leave this week, so more relaxed at least.

That's good for you. Like XPerceniol, I also struggle to leave my house.

[mina7601]

2 hours ago, UCyborg said:

His answer was simply that it matters while you're here.

Ha, lol, what a nice answer from the psychiatrist to your question.

[D.Draker]

15 hours ago, mina7601 said:

With the name xperceniol_sal, yeah, I noticed his existence there. I'm also planning to join eclipse.cx soon.

yeah, looks like one ban wasn't enough for @XPerceniol

[D.Draker]

13 hours ago, UCyborg said:

I imagine I'd be even more lost then than I am now.

Nah, you'd do just fine, I have trust in you. On the contrary, it's the modern times that "gifted" you with depression in the first place.

And why do you call depression "she" ? Is it a female ? I understand English is not your mother tongue. In English it would be "it", not "she".

But I guess there are underlying objects in your case, not the grammar per se. 

[D.Draker]

3 hours ago, D.Draker said:

yeah, looks like one ban wasn't enough for @XPerceniol

rinse, repeat.

[XPerceniol]

11 hours ago, D.Draker said:

yeah, looks like one ban wasn't enough for @XPerceniol

I thought I was banned but then invited back a few days ago. Was sort of on the fence because too many forums isn't good for me, hard to explain.

[D.Draker]

4 hours ago, XPerceniol said:

I thought I was banned but then invited back a few days ago. Was sort of on the fence because too many forums isn't good for me, hard to explain.

If I where you, I'd report that spamming cretin to the MSFN moderators, who the hell allows him to to use our inboxes to fulfill his needs for another forum ?!??!

Why they want you ? Well, two possible scenarios:

1st - They're gonna make a mockery out of you, like they did in the past, I still have a couple of quite unpleasant screenshots somewhere.

2nd - Their situation is just awful (no surprise), and they simply want to fill out their empty space.

What struck me as weird, why is he still here and @Tripredacus won't do anything about it ? Perhaps he just doesn't know that 

cretin resurfaced here again under a new name ?

I was under the impression - previously banned users are not allowed.

So report him the inbox message and his new screen name.

This is *of course* not my business, if you choose not to.

Then good luck to you on that "eclispe" or whatever that stinking hole name is.

 

[XPerceniol]

4 hours ago, D.Draker said:

If I where you, I'd report that spamming cretin to the MSFN moderators, who the hell allows him to to use our inboxes to fulfill his needs for another forum ?!??!

Why they want you ? Well, two possible scenarios:

1st - They're gonna make a mockery out of you, like they did in the past, I still have a couple of quite unpleasant screenshots somewhere.

2nd - Their situation is just awful (no surprise), and they simply want to fill out their empty space.

What struck me as weird, why is he still here and @Tripredacus won't do anything about it ? Perhaps he just doesn't know that 

cretin resurfaced here again under a new name ?

I was under the impression - previously banned users are not allowed.

So report him the inbox message and his new screen name.

This is *of course* not my business, if you choose not to.

Then good luck to you on that "eclispe" or whatever that stinking hole name is.

 

Well.. you know that old saying:

"Mockery Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery"

So long as I laugh at myself first then the *joke* falls on the perpetrator. as I see it.

Actually, nobody contacted me by PM rather in the Roytam1 thread and oddly enough he isn't even there anymore and there not much for me there as I don't have much to bring to the table, either. I'm just a silly old Blobfish. Ha!

I think the forum is not active and they are looking for new members but also my other XP forum is also quiet and this here is my home. It was actually @K4sum1 that said she wanted to contact me when my account vanished, I don't think I was banned just their forum was hacked or something, but I guess its not the same, but I doubt I'll be very active but thank you for the 'heads up' on the deal. 

[mina7601]

12 hours ago, D.Draker said:

yeah, looks like one ban wasn't enough for @XPerceniol

Since you quoted me, I kindly ask you one thing: I don't want to interact with you, nor get quoted by you. Thank you.

Also, if i want to know anything regarding Eclipse, i'll just ask @K4sum1.

[D.Draker]

3 hours ago, mina7601 said:

Since you quoted me, I kindly ask you one thing: I don't want to interact with you, nor get quoted by you. Thank you.

Also, if i want to know anything regarding Eclipse, i'll just ask @K4sum1.

Why ? I'm not Momiji ?