How can you tell if your child is a hacker?

[gamehead200]

Someone sent me this as a text file a few months ago:

---------------------------------------------------------------

How can you tell if your child is a hacker?

- he never sleeps

- the FCC is always at the door

- he has 5 cell phones

- he always has nice s*** but it doesn't work

- he speaks in some jive language

- he has friends in every 3rd world country

- he has no phone bill

- he has seven lines but pays for none

- he asks for a case of Coke for Christmas

- he never lets you use your own credit cards

- he doesn't talk much but types fast

- he is paranoid and doesn't leave the house

- he speaks its in acronyms

- he comes home with garbage bags marked AT&T

- he is extremely sensitive to light

- he has no respect for anyone

- he gets straight A's in school without attending

- he has spare parts for all electronic objects

- he has logs of other peoples chat

- the power goes out he fixes it

- he has his own radio station

- he always has bad lag

- he watches space shuttle launches with unusual interest for a young kid

- he drives an AT&T truck

- he drools at passing TELCO vans with 4 or 5 lineman's handsets

- he is way to interested in the stock market

- he has a car with a license plate that rotates between 6 or eight plates

- he can tell mom what number she dials from across the room

- he is either very obese or very skinny with thick glasses

- he has manuals with 75, ROLM, Plexar, ESS5 and SWB on it

- he has the neighbors phone bills, credit reports, and credit card bills

- he knows who is moving in next door before they move in

- he has taco bell, burger king, pizza boxes, empty bottles and full ashtrays everywhere

- he has 10 pay phones in his room

- he cards pizza's every night

- he has 5 corpses of Bell men in his basement

- he is more interested in CERTGIV and NASAGOV than girls!

- he only has one shirt

- he reads bar codes faster than the supermarket people

- he never calls people by their full name

- he can hear frequencies the dog normally hears

- he says he was talking long distance with a friend but you never get the bill

- he can name what city someone is in by their telephone

- he detects police better than radar

- he doesn't ever hit red lights

- he gets 10,000 catalogs in the mail

- he is always ordering 65537 MHz crystals

- he has his own fleet of nuclear subs

- he can memorize card numbers in a single glance

- he argues about everything

- he always needs more solder

- he has burns from solder on his hands

- he eats captain crunch cereal all day

- he has more friends on IRC than in home state

- he writes with all 00000001 0000010 00000101

- he refers to the president by his social security number

- he got accepted into every college, after dropping out of high school

- he carries boxes in his pocket to school

[sven]

a lot of these sound like you LOL

- he speaks in some jive language (HAXOR TO THE MAXOR, **** 1337 talk)

- he doesn't talk much but types fast

- he is extremely sensitive to light

- he has no respect for anyone

- he has spare parts for all electronic objects

- the power goes out he fixes it

- he is either very obese or very skinny with thick glasses (get glasses LOL)

- he has more friends on IRC than in home state

to bad some of these sound like me to

[SiMoNsAyS]

hahaha LoL

[MCT]

lol

- he doesn't talk much but types fast

- he is extremely sensitive to light

- he has spare parts for all electronic objects

[gamehead200]

a lot of these sound like you LOL

- he speaks in some jive language (HAXOR TO THE MAXOR, **** 1337 talk)

- he doesn't talk much but types fast

- he is extremely sensitive to light

- he has no respect for anyone

- he has spare parts for all electronic objects

- the power goes out he fixes it

- he is either very obese or very skinny with thick glasses (get glasses LOL)

- he has more friends on IRC than in home state

to bad some of these sound like me to

Oh well...

[XtremeMaC]

"he gets straight A's in school without attending"

ohh, could be so good

[jaclaz]

Good one!

ROFL!

However these:

- he never sleeps

- he has his own fleet of nuclear subs

- he can memorize card numbers in a single glance

- he has a car with a license plate that rotates between 6 or eight plates

Sounds more like James Bond to me!

jaclaz

[mark]

"he gets straight A's in school without attending"

ohh, could be so good

And how well do you do in school ExtreMaC?

[sven]

well, thats a thing isn't really true. i go to school everyday, and i got 100+% on my physics exam (sorry gamehead, had to say it lol). now, does that make me not a hacker, or a semi hacker?

[gamehead200]

well, thats a thing isn't really true.  i go to school everyday, and i got 100+% on my physics exam   (sorry gamehead, had to say it lol).  now, does that make me not a hacker, or a semi hacker?

Semi, because there was a bell curve...

[sven]

no curve on the exam mark

[XtremeMaC]

well either way u're not a lazy person sven

my exams are okay, hmm wait r u my dad who is spying on me on msfn.

well i can say this much, i'm not getting straight 100%'s i'm in univ though...

[sednainc]

he reads bar codes faster than the supermarket people

wo unbelieveable

[d0t]

http://adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html XD

[Blam-O!]

http://adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html  XD

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Simply LOL!!! That article is soo funny.

EDIT: speed read the comments - they are the best!

Edited June 10, 2005 by Blam-O!