Bar Joke

[Mocht4R]

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, "Quick pour me twelve drinks." So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back as fast as he could, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, "Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast." The guys says, "Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I've got." The bartender says, "What've you got?" The guy says, "75 cents."

[Matt_]

Thats funny heres another:

A priest, and a child malester walk in to a bar, and that was just the first guy.

[Mocht4R]

Good one lol.

3 blondes walk into a bar, you'd think the first one would notice.

[ootsoo]

[mark]

A San Serif walks into a bar and the bartender says "Get out, we don't serve your type in here".

DL

[Lazy8]

After the first day of the World Brewers Conference, executives of the largest beer companies decide to have a drink together at a bar.

The CEO of Anheuser-Busch naturally orders a Bud, the president of Miller orders a Miller, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and so on down the list.

Then the bartender asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and to everybody's amazement, he orders tea!

"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask suspiciously, wondering if they've stumbled on an embarrassing secret.

"Solidarity, gentlemen," replies Guinness. "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."

[MCT]

haha !

[suryad]

Wow these are awesome!

[Mocht4R]

Lol. I love bar jokes. Send more, more, more, MORE, MORE!!!!! *faints*

[EchoNoise]

A penguin, an elephant and an irish guy walks into a bar. They all sit down, and the bartender looks at them and says "What? Is this some kind of a joke !?"

[Lazy8]

A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him.

"Look," said the customer, "I have no arms - would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?" "Sure", said the bartender, and he did.

"Now," said the customer, "I wonder if you'd be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth."

"Certainly." And it was done.

"If," said the armless man, "you'd reach in my right hand pants pocket, you'll find the money for the beer." The bartender got it.

"You've been very kind," said the customer. "Just one thing more. Where is the men's room?"

"Two blocks north," said the bartender, "at the BP filling station."

[Wolf_Demon]

wise bartender

[diesel_98a]

those are awesome.................

[Djé]

Variation on the first one in the post:

A guy sits at the bar and orders: "a whisky befor it starts".

The bartender brings the drink and asks "what is about to start?".

The guys doesn't reply, drinks straight and asks again: "another one before it starts".

Same question but no answer.

The thing goes again 2 or 3 more times before the bartender, worried about this strange customer and seeing him geting drunk, asks him for the payment.

"There it starts" goes the guy.

Sorry, i did not really get the jokes in post #2, #3 and perhaps #10.

I suspect some hole in my knowledge of the english language (only your base are belong to us).

I don't have any problem joking with priest/child molester nor blondes or penguins (anything in facts); it's just, I think, that i don't get the hidden meaning in the last phrase.

I'd love if any native carred to explain.

[mark]

#2 A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. Then a second person walks in. (Normally you would be thinking of two individuals in the first sentence but some priests have been found guilty of child molestation)

#3 Three blondes walk into a bar. You think the first would notice. (Referring to a bar or rod as opposed to a bar in which you get a drink. This joke is good for testing someone's blondeness<DL gets suspicious about Dje'>)

#10 The joke starts out like a joke so the bartender asks if it as a joke, taking it in a different direction than you would assume. Funny, cause it's silly.

DL