pre

We sure do... cry...

lol... I only suggest you click this link if you have waayyy to much time on your hands....

lol, sounds like something Gudio Hatzis would do....

lol, sorry but that is wacked...

lol your cool... you type with caps on every word... B)

lol sounds like you need to get out more (just joking around)...

huh? tips? What you talkin' bout?

Ohh is that the "search button"... I thought it was the button that gives access to free boobies just joking around

Cool we welcome you here... and postcount+1 for me

Yep very nice interface... B)

Vote 1. Viagra! Wait? Why isn't viagra on the list?

Summer, because its when all the girls get hot at the beach and take all there clothes off.

Sounds cool, downloading it now (stupid slow dialup connection)

Yep, its an oldie but a goodie! (Y)

Welcome, but we already know that

Does anybody have a screenshot of it in action?

lol, nice to hear that you people like it.

lol YAY, I finally have a welcome! Thanks rjz!

The Dog Called Sex Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more **** troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog." B)

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie. 1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. 2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking 3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water... 4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So its true what they say about Swedes. 5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. 6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? 7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. 8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. 9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. 10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. 11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: No, WE don't stink. 12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. 13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK) A: You are a British politician, right? 14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. 15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. 16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany) A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them. 17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal. 18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. 19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. 21. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. 22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first ...well I found that funny anyways... B)

Ewwwwwww..... Now tell me how do I clear history?

Cool. Bob needs friends. I need to expand Bob family. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> lol, You must really feel for bob...

No welcome messages?

Post away buddy ol' pal...

I don't mean to troll, but arn't Ipods a little bit too expensive....