misskellibad1

Dear Abby, What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR? Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much. I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is even his.

here it is http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?...b;en-us;Q281565

gamehead, I read somewhere a while back that you can't. By default all users have the same resolution. I will look for the link for you.

FthrJACK, check out "bionic man" by "pink poodles" it's one from my teenage years that I actually still like.

Hey, Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! Your Horoscope: SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You will get your way in everything you attempt to accomplish this week. Just don't let it go to your head or you will blow your chance to dominate the little people at the McDonald's playground.

A black man and his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of days. The husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear. When he comes home that night he goes to the bedroom where there laid out on the bed was a Superman costume. The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear." The next day the wife not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement. The husband comes home from work once more and there laid out on the bed was a Batman costume. He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party." By this time the wife is irate, so the next morning she goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work there laid out on the bed are three items. In one neat pile is a set of three white buttons, another is a white belt, and the third item is a 2 x 4 of wood. The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?" The wife yells back, "You can take your clothes off and take the three white buttons and put them on the front of you and go as a domino, and if you don't like that one, you can take the belt and put it on and go as an Oreo cookie. And if you don't like that one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your a** and go as a fudgesickle." Have a good one everybody!

Ummm, if I recall, the #1 reason had something to do with MSN, and an extremely large bag.

funny sed-I'm not his type I'm not inflatable.

Don't get cute with me Ge, I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth, and before you ask that's not sarcasm.

I would like to have access to what really happened to JFK, that has always been a source of interest to me.

It's not your age Ge, it's your actions....... and you've proven yourself quite nicely once again.

@ELITE: your pic doesn't look 61+, what fountain did you drink from?

funny Aaron! MSFN......... when you're having a senior moment I just had a birthday too-33

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her and some of the men actually join in. One day, Ethel was speeding up the corridor when a door opened and Crazy Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "Stop!", he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "Stop! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Mad Malcolm stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand. "Oh, no" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"

That is just sick!

http://www.gumbopages.com/404.html

Inquiring (or just plain nosy) minds want to know;WTH is "kackered"? Is it like drunk, euchered, or is it a spin-off from kak?

smartass. That's really not what I had in mind!!!!!!!

Hey, it's almost halloween, so where's everybody's scary avatars, and sigs?!

zipp-didn't your mother tell you "you can't believe everything you read" lmfao-you're hilarious!!!!!

Awwwwwwwwwww, happy birthday zipp, sincerely! Here is your horoscope: SCORPIO (Oct.23-Nov.21) There are those around you that will be surprised to see the change in you. If you are male, it means that you have finally gone public with your cross-dressing/Jello wrestling fetishes.

One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found an S&M magazine. This was very upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, cause I was p***ed Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are NOT I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face I love your smile, your face, your eyes- ****, I'm good at telling lies! Every time I see your face I wish I were in outer space I saw your face as you walked by But then I saw a better guy My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life I see your face when I am dreaming that's why I always wake up screaming My love you take my breath away What have you stepped in to smell this way My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "Go to hell" What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime

The Top 15 Little-Known Foreign Custom Faux Pas 15 In Kuwait, flipping the bird is actually an offer to pick someone's nose. 14 In Australia, bartenders take offense when customers leave their establishments while still able to walk under their own power. 13 Using ice cubes is not an acceptable way to cool off the nipples of female beach-goers in Rio de Janeiro. 12 Cubans think it's tacky to wear white while defecting after Labor Day. 11 In Iceland, having a pierced nose means that you are sexually aroused by small furry animals. 10 In Iran, it's considered blasphemous to go braless under your Salman Rushdie tank top. 9 In France, after a good meal it is a sign of appreciation to surrender unconditionally to your hosts. 8 When in Germany, try not to be from another country.(MSN) 7 Taking an Italian to the Olive Garden demonstrates bad taste. Hell, taking *anyone* to the Olive Garden demonstrates bad taste. 6 In California, if you accuse a husband of murdering his wife, he is obligated to play golf for a year or two. 5 It's considered impolite not to bow in the direction of Britney Spears before entering Boobland. 4 In England, if a dog is humping your leg, kicking it away is considered impolite and insulting to the owner, and you should stand still and let him finish. At least that's what they told ME. 3 At a dinner party in Zaire, it is a serious breach of etiquette to pair a Pinot Noir with Pickled Monkey Groin. 2 In Swahili, "Gezundheit" sounds exactly like a word meaning "Let me return your gift with my butt." and the Number 1 Little-Known Foreign Custom Faux Pas... 1 Americans love to try to figure out foreign languages, so be sure to speak only your native tongue when visiting the U.S.

Thanks guys-nice to meet you too!