SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours.

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Labrador retriever.

lol!!!!

LOL thats whacked pia

Lololol, bet that actully happens alot... People just dont realise it.

LOL   thats whacked pia

Spécialité de la maison.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours.

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Labrador retriever.

come on now we all know it was your personal add you placed in the wild section of the weekly dating service...lol

-XPerties

Chris, this is useful for you. ake notes

ANSWERING MACHINE AT MENTAL HOSPITAL

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

• If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
  
• If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
  
• If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
  
• If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
  
• If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
  
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
  
• If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
  
• If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
  
• If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
  
• If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
  
• If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 000.
  
• If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
  
• If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
  
• If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
  and my personal favorite:
  
• If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up .
  

...OMG! that was way freakin funny...hahahahaha...great post, Im thinking about putting that on my machine.

-XPerties

another for your machine:

http://piaqt.homestead.com/files/SIG/2fat.wav

nice one piaqt,

once again,bringing home the bacon.

nice one piaqt,

once again,bringing home the bacon.

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Labrador retriever.

That punch-line altogether dropped my jaw, imagine the shock those men received!

lol