NEWSFLASH

[jayroller]

Newsflash - Earthquake in Rhyl

NEWSFLASH

A major earthquake measuring 6.5 in the Richter scale hit in the early

hours of Monday July 3rd 2003. The epicentre was Rhyl.

Victims were seen wandering aimlessly muttering things like "Facking

mental", "innit" and "cant".

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of

damage. 3 areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed, many locals were

woken well before their giros had arrived.

Rhyl News reported that hundreds were confused and bewildered with the

fact that something interesting had happened in Rhyl.

One resident, Tracy Sharon Smith, a fifteen-year-old mother of 5 said "It

was such a shock, little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom

crying. My youngest 2, Tyler Morgan and Britney slept through it all. I was

still shaking while I was watching Trisha the next morning. It's a bad

picture now as my sky dish is wonky, I'd get it fixed but won't be able to

afford me Lambert & Butler Lights so I'll have to watch it like that."

Apparently though looting, muggings, and car crime carried on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny

Delight in to the area along with 20,000 packets of soverign cigarettes to

help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still sifting through the rubble and have found large

quantities of personal belongings including benefit books, jewellery from

Elizabeth Duke at Argos, crow bars, seringes, lock picks, power tools with

the serial numbers ground off and several pieces of bone china from

Poundstretcher.

How can you help?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for the

unfortunate people of Rhyl. Clothing is most sought after.

Items most needed are:

Burberry baseball caps (or Fila)

Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers),

shell suits (female),

white sports socks,

Nike Air Max trainers (or anything else usually sold at the indoor market).

Food parcels accepted are: microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream,

and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew lager.

Your contribution counts!

22p will buy a biro for filling in claim forms

£3 will buy 8 cans of "ACE" or budget lager from Asda

£4 will buy 50gram pouch of smuggled tobacco from the Lorne pub

£5 buys chips, crisps and fizzy blue drinks for a family of 9

£10 will send them on a Sun newspaper family break in October

£99 will get a family's sky dish and receiver replaced

Thank you for your support!

[Aaron]

rofl, the more further down I read, the more silly it got! :rofl:

[Flash]

LMFAO, that is fecking funny!!

[Doggie]

lol nice story

Nike Air Max trainers (or anything else usually sold at the indoor market).

< especially that

[MSNwar]

why make fun of white sports socks?