Messages to Santa

**prathapml** · December 12, 2004

......... And his wicked replies

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
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Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a freaking book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
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Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy
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Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his a** constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Lego's instead.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
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Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs, and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favour? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa