prathapml Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Have a good lot of laughs - or forward this to a friend as news. Click the article names to read moreAMD Releases Socket 666 Athlon 64 CPUsThursday, December 2 12:00 AM ETAMD Releases Socket 666 Athlon 64 CPUsBy Brian Briggs Sunnyvale, CA - AMD announced the release of the pentagram-shaped Socket 666 Athlon 64processor. The Athlon 64 first debuted in the Socket 754 format then AMD followed with the socket 939 form factor. "Enthusiasts are tired of boring square processors," said AMD Vice president of Marketing Lucy DeVille. "This allows much cooler looking machines than a square processor allows."DeVille said the new design also allows greater heat dissipation and a tenfold increase in performance at half the price of Socket 939 systems.Many industry experts were surprised by the move since the Socket 666 processor was absent from AMD's recently released technology road map. "Companies rarely deviate from the road map, but with a technological breakthrough like this chip I'm not surprised they did," said technology analyst for Merrill Lynch Clayton Hellmuth.AMD to Release New Moron ProcessorSunnyvale, CA - AMD revealed today it's new line of processors called the Moron. Jerry Sanders CEO of AMD said, "This is a proud day for AMD as we continue the success that started with the Athlon to the Duron and now the Moron. We wanted a name that signified that the processor had "More Power" than the Duron. Hence Moron." He continued, "Our target market for the Moron is in servers running Windows 2000. A Moron and Windows 2000 are a perfect solution for any company planning to enter the e-commerce marketplace."Microsoft Purchases Evil From SatanRedmond, WA - Microsoft purchased evil from Satan for $2.7 billion after many months of tough negotiations. "We've been after Satan for some time," said CEO Steve Ballmer. "Negotiations were tough, but I think both Microsoft and the Prince of Darkness are happy with this deal." Microsoft already controls 15% of the evil market, and with this purchase that number nears 100%. The Department of Justice voiced concerns over one corporation controlling so much evil, and launched investigations."We feel that there are real opportunities with evil, and that when evil is integrated into our next generation of Windows products consumers will appreciate evil on their desktop," said Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. "Businesses haven't been able to fully realize their evil potential. With evil integrated into Office XP, corporations big and small will begin to see enhanced evil productivity.""Evil is a real growing market," market strategist Frank Dresgan of Merrill Lynch explained. "Microsoft is a little late in the game, but even when they enter a market late they still tend to dominate. I think we'll see the same results with evil.""I've been dealing with Microsoft for some time," Lucifer said. "I've been at this evil thing for millions of years, and wanted a way out. I considered an IPO, but then Steve-O and Billy came along and told me about their 'Evil Everywhere' plan. I just couldn't refuse."Evil was founded by Satan close to the beginning of time. It has been growing steadily ever since, although most of the growth has accelerated in the past five years with the development of the Internet. Satan plans to retire to a small island in the Bahamas and write a column for the local newspaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCT Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synapse Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 LOL Moron Processor! but i already got one...Microsoft Purches Evil from satan lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XtremeMaC Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prathapml Posted December 3, 2004 Author Share Posted December 3, 2004 LOL Moron Processor!Yeah! That was the one that really had me in splits of laughter. They make the news article sound so innocuous, that if you did not know better, you *REALLY* would think that moron was a natural progression from duron!Duron.... Moron.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix_nf Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Why does everyone associate famous people (rags to riches category) with evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XtremeMaC Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 its not famous ppl its bill gates with his marketing tricks.haven't seen any other famous ppl who's tagged with evil characteristic. also its a JOKE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KernelOverlord Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Why does everyone associate famous people (rags to riches category) with evil.Only the Famous evil people, not the good famous ones - lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DigeratiPrime Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 omg I Just read this its soo funny. You made my day. The interview with Satan considering an IPO was the best.omg roflmao! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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