Is your son a computer hacker?

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I'm not sure if this guy is a complete moron... or if he was serious... all the comments are saying its for people that can't take a joke.. but this is by far the funnies thing i've read in a while. i almost wet my pants laughin so hard at this.

Originally posted in 2001, but i still think its funny as hell

*story sucks... but the good stuff is when he lists the "advise" to follow*

Is your Son a computer hacker?

[Crispy]

If thats not a joke you may call me bob ...a few nice quotes that gives it away:

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.

If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association.

(Dunno what otaku is? click here )

There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson

Poll: I'm scared of hackers because... : They smell bad - 58%

[gamehead200]

In the two years that I've been part of MSFN, that must have been posted AT LEAST 5 times!

[sven]

oh crap..... i read snowcrash it was pretty good. i want to read Cryptonomicon too.. but its like, to big. books recomended by my physics teacher

[XtremeMaC]

holly crap

this is the stupidest article i've yet to read

change of isp, comet cursor? bonzi buddy hah lol they're are spyware crap:D

new hardware omg, hacker activity, "dad I want a better graphics card so i can play the ultimate hacking program quake faster" ahah

oh my anyways i'd talk about this thing more but its so funny i cannot get enough of it ahah, what a dumb author.

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In the two years that I've been part of MSFN, that must have been posted AT LEAST 5 times!

well make this 6...

[prathapml]

In the two years that I've been part of MSFN, that must have been posted AT LEAST 5 times!

That's the only profound statement, left to say about that page.

And I have no doubt, before june 2005, you'd have seen it being posted for the 7th **** time!

[Tokugawapants]

Where does this guy live? He needs to keep all firearms locked away because of Quake?! I almost feel sorry for that guy. Time to go spend 30+ minutes on my Lunix illegal hacking operating system to start DOSing other people's websites.

[MadGutts]

The guy says he has done his research!

Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

Hmm.. Better remove Flash then !!!!

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

**** I'm a Hacker !!! I have 7 pc's all with AMD Processors ! And since when are they made in the 3rd world????? Has Silicon vally moved???

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

This is a Joke.... Right?

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks.

Hacker wear Day glow??? Spikey hair ???? That was called Punk in my day! Glowsticks... Erm right.. not off out to a nightclub then??

This guy is missing a few screws.... About 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 i think