DerRickster Posted June 30, 2004 Author Share Posted June 30, 2004 DerRickster: (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to buy a fish licence, please. GreenMachine: A what? DerRickster: A licence for my pet fish, Eric. GreenMachine: How did you know my name was Eric? DerRickster: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric fish. He's an halibut. GreenMachine: What? DerRickster: He is an halibut. GreenMachine: You've got a pet halibut? DerRickster: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat. GreenMachine: You must be a loony. DerRickster: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady showjumper, had a clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside! GreenMachine: All right, all right, all right. A licence? DerRickster: Yes! GreenMachine: For a fish. DerRickster: Yes! GreenMachine: You are a loony. DerRickster: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a licence for me pet dog Eric, I've got a licence for me pet cat Eric. GreenMachine: You don't need a licence for your cat. DerRickster: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there! GreenMachine: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat Licence. DerRickster: Yes there is. GreenMachine: No there isn't. DerRickster: Is! GreenMachine: Isn't! DerRickster: I've bleedin' got one, look! What's that then? GreenMachine: This is a dog licence with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon. DerRickster: Man didn't have the right form. GreenMachine: What Man? DerRickster: The Man from the cat detector van. GreenMachine: The loony detector van, you mean. DerRickster: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest. GreenMachine: What cat detector van? DerRickster: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge. GreenMachine: Housinge? DerRickster: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a piece of cakeGreenMachine: How much did you pay for this? DerRickster: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat. GreenMachine: What fruit-bat? DerRickster: Eric the fruit-bat. GreenMachine: Are all your pets called Eric? DerRickster: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul. GreenMachine: No he didn't. DerRickster: Did! GreenMachine: Didn't! DerRickster: Did, did, did, did, did and did! GreenMachine: Oh all right. DerRickster: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish licence? GreenMachine: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one. DerRickster: In that case give me a bee licence. GreenMachine: A licence for your pet bee. DerRickster: Correct. GreenMachine: Called Eric? Eric the bee? DerRickster: No. GreenMachine: No? DerRickster: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident. GreenMachine: You're off your chump. DerRickster: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-leader. Eric Idle: A one, two, a one two three four! DerRickster (sings):Half a bee, philosophically,Must, ipso facto, half not be.But half the bee has got to beVis a vis, its entity. D'you see? But can a bee be said to beOr not to be an entire beeWhen half the bee is not a beeDue to some ancient injury? Chorus: Chorus sung by Alanoll, XtremeMaC and GreenMachineLa dee dee, one two three,Eric the half a bee.A B C D E F G,Eric the half a bee. DerRickster:Is this wretched demi-bee,Half-asleep upon my knee,Some freak from a menagerie?No! It's Eric the half a bee! Chorus:Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,Eric the half a bee.Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,Eric the half a bee. DerRickster:I love this hive, implore ye-ee,Bisected accidentally,One summer afternoon by me,I love him carnally. Chorus:He loves him carnally,Semi-carnally. DerRickster: The end. GreenMachine: Cyril Connolly? DerRickster: No, semi-carnally! GreenMachine: Oh. Chorus: Cyril Connolly. (Whistle end of tune.) ... ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XtremeMaC Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 now tell me,u don't type these right? u just copy and paste them? pls tell me that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerRickster Posted June 30, 2004 Author Share Posted June 30, 2004 now tell me,u don't type these right? u just copy and paste them? pls tell me that!I type them with two fingers....one on each hand...Columbus Style...Point and Land... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeenThereB4 Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 All this talent from a guy who thinks RC2 was released on June 27 - and challenged by a guy who thinks he had a slipstream problem. As he said, his stream has slipped right off the planet - aided and abetted by GreenTimeMachine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alanoll Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 now all we need is some good ol' fashion family guy scenes and this thread will be golden..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerRickster Posted July 1, 2004 Author Share Posted July 1, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenMachine Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Well, if that don't kick a** (or wipe it), I don't know what does! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XtremeMaC Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 now that's creative Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenMachine Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Oh no ... Mac's getting ideas ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamehead200 Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Guys, you're all WAY off topic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerRickster Posted July 1, 2004 Author Share Posted July 1, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alanoll Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 simpsons maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prathapml Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Mmmwahaahaha ha haNow, can we get back on topic ?(was there any in the 1st place ?)@DerRicksterThe Release Candidate for Service Pack 2 is avalable for download.In case anyone is interested, Microsoft just released RC2 of SP1 to public.ummmmmm.......Shouldn't that post (the 1st in this thread) have actually read "RC2 of SP2" ?And finally, to settle the issue - yes, no probs slipstreaming SP2 RC2 into WinXP gold CD when using XPCREATE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenMachine Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 That's not on topic: not one MP quote in the whole post!(Thanks, prathapml!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now