List of most dagerous COMPUTER VIRUS

[Mercury_22]

Once a virus is released, it tends to stick around.Viruses which, by rights, should have disappeared years ago!

Ellen Degeneres virus:

Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Monica Lewinsky virus:

Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Titanic virus:

Makes your whole computer go down

Disney virus:

Everything in the computer goes Goofy

Mike Tyson virus:

Quits after one byte

Prozac virus:

Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care

Sharon Stone virus:

Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

Lorena Bobbit virus:

Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Edited December 2, 2005 by Mercury_22

[mark]

Once a virus is released, it tends to stick around.Viruses which, by rights, should have disappeared years ago!

Ellen Degeneres virus:

Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Hmm, never used a MAC. So MACs are 'that' way? Interesting. <tries to think of who uses a MAC>

DL

[Mocht4R]

Funny. I didnt see these in Funny Farm before, funny stuff!

[Mercury_22]

More...

Spice Girl virus:

Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop

Ronald Reagan virus:

Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored

Martha Stewart virus:

Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop

Tonya Harding virus:

Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

Woody Allen virus:

Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk, then reattaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB,and then slowly expands back to 200 MB.

AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the AT&T Virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack --- once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a consultant about possible alternatives.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole **** thing quits.

MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates your session and then disappears. It'll be back.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining a binary network.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Thers sumthin rong wit yur komputerw butt ewe jsut cant figyour it out!

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)

TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints "Oh no you don't!" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data ends up in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes asking for more money.

ELVIS VIRUS: Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to suddenly become a paper shredder.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

Edited December 6, 2005 by Mercury_22