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...Blonde jokes galore


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Blonde's Last Laugh

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was

out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck

driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she

did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of

chalk from his pocket.

He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly

commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and

DON'T MOVE!"

He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her

face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch

this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and

breaks every window in her car. When he turns and

looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is

getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and

slices all her tires.

Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting

to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can

of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns

around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall

down. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the

blonde.

She replied, "Every time you weren't looking,

I stepped outside the circle."

A Blonde's Tragedy

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house,

sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.

The blonde said that her mother had passed away.

The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her

down a little and then left.

The next day the neighbor went back over to the house

and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why

she was crying this time.

''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother

died too!''

Quickies

1. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman

as opposed to a regular one?

( You have to hollow out the head.)

2. Why won't they hire blondes as pharmacists?

(They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the

typewriters.)

3. Hear about the blonde that got an AM RADIO?

(It took her a month to realize she could play it in

the afternoon.)

4. What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?

(They drowned during Spring Training.)

5. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

(To see what was on the other side.)

6. How did the blonde die drinking milk?

(The cow stepped on her.)

7. How did the blonde burn her nose?

(Bobbing for French fries.)

8. Why do blondes have more fun?

(They're easier to amuse.)

9. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

(Frosted flakes.)

10. Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?

(They keep breaking them with their hammers.)

11. Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow

into the air?

(She missed.)

12. What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear?

(Data transfer.)

13. Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?

(Because she read that one child out of every four born

was Chinese.)

14. Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead?

(She wanted everyone to know that she was able to

make up her mind.)

15. Why did the blonde ask her friends to save burned-out

light bulbs?

(She needed them for the darkroom she was building.)

16. Why are Asians so smart?

(No blondes.)

17. What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde?

(You get to park in the Handicapped Zone)

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  • 1 year later...

Why does the blonde change her baby's diapers once a week?

Because on the package it says 'Up to 20 lb"

=====

Why did the blonde was fired from the M & M's Quality Control packaging line?

Because she was throwing away all the W's

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