Is there baseball after death?

[Lazy8]

There were two old men who had loved baseball all of their life. They had grown up in the same town where they played together thru grade school, high school and then college. After college they didn't have the skill for professional ball so they learned to be umpires in order to stay involved.

They started in the minors and being very good umpires soon moved on to the majors where they umped for many years. After they retired, they continued to umpire for youth ball like little league.

However, as they grew older and older, they started to worry about what it would be like after they died. Would there be baseball after death?

Finally, they made a pact. The first one to die would, if at all possible, find some way of contacting his surviving partner with the news.

One day Joe died and went to Heaven. After much argument he convinced St. Peter to let him return in a dream to his friend Fred and this conversation ensued:

Joe: "Fred, I made it to heaven and I have both good news and bad news."

Fred: "Well, what is the good news."

Joe: "We don't have to worry about baseball any more. There is all kinds up here. We can umpire from sand lot ball to the major leagues. They'll finally let us play on a team--any position! In fact I have 3rd base tomorrow night."

Fred: "THAT'S GREAT!! What could possibly be bad news after that?"

Joe: "You're pitching this Saturday."

[hbinded]

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.

Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?

"Yes it is," the man replies.

"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.

"No thanks," the man replies.

"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.

"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.

"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.

"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.

"Yes it is," replies the man.

"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.

"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.

"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed. The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."

"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.

"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.

"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.

"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness, the father explains as he hauls the child away.

At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

"Don't you start that crap in here now," the priest says.

[ripken204]

there is baseball after death

field of dreams

[Lazy8]

Sure...but hbinded is so much more hilarious than Costner.

If you tell it...they will ROTFL.