An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the

artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald

bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," replied the artist.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm

sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy

looking for the jewelry."

"And would she use my golf clubs?"

"No, she's left-handed."