The worst manual ever

[Tripredacus]

I just got to read the worst computer manual ever. I won't tell you the make and model for it, but its like a notebook but its really small. It's supposed to have a 8GB hard drive in it, but it's only seeing 3.5GB. It comes with Linux but our customer wants Windows XP Pro put on it instead.

My first problem is that it doesn't have a CD drive. So we had to hackjob an internal CD drive to connect to the USB port. The manual says it is a USB 2.0 port but I doubt it. The manual had some weird things in it, and I figured I would share them with you.

Safety Precautions

1. Do not leave the PC on your lap or any other part of the body to prevent discomfort or injury from heat exposure.

2. Do not place or drop objects on top and do not shove any foreign objects into the PC.

Now for #2, it shows a picture of a vase on top of the PC...

It also says things like how you're not supposed to take apart the battery...

As far as the Linux that comes with it goes, aside from a game about Crack and the ability to learn english, the only downside is that it won't let you uninstall the programs it comes with. That sounds friendly enough.

Now, how they recommend we install XP.

1. Install Windows (duh)

but here it gets weird

2. Set Virtual Memory to 200MB.... WHAT?

3. Turn off System Restore...

4. COMPRESS THE C DRIVE? WTF?!

5. Move the My Documents and Temporary Internet Files folders...

6. It then goes through this thing where it shows you how to make a "Recovery CD" but really you just copy files to a CD before deleting them off the hard drive. The worst part is that it says if Windows malfunctions when you delete system files, just insert the CD and all will be well...

OK now the most screwed up part of the instructions is that it tells you to delete the following:

-Screensavers

-Sample Files (well this isn't so bad I guess)

-Wallpapers

-ALL OF THE WINDOWS HELP FILES

-ALL OF THE FILES IN DLLCACHE

-UNINSTALL SERVICE PACK 2 AND ALL HOTFIXES?

-DELETE ALL FOREIGN LANGUAGE PACKS

Of course those last bits had instructions where you just delete the files for them, not by uninstalling them. In the beginning they tell you how you need to use a XP SP2 CD because older versions do not support USB CD Drives, but then they tell you to remove the service pack (probably because it only has a 3.5GB Hard disk) to save space. It would have been better if they could have provided an nLite version of XP without all that stuff, but I wonder how well Windows will work after deleting all that stuff. It is also funny because it says that some files won't delete unless you are in safe mode.

Sometimes these manuals are really screwed up. This one seems to have good English in it (unlike the other funny ones) but the steps are ridiculous.

There are also sections that say you need a UFD bigger than 1GB but smaller than 2GB... Oh and it says not to throw the PC in the garbage or throw the battery in a fire.

One of these days I'll have to post the AOpen Map of the World... that thing is funny.

[Tripredacus]

Oh btw, this manual is from the ASUS Eee PC 701... since it was in the news, although you could put 1 and 1 together based on my news posting response. ^_^

[weEvil]

DLL cache is not needed once you install all the drivers.

Help files are crap anyway.

These instructions sound similar to the Bold_Fortune XP Slimming guide.