weird people, weird pets

[WolfX2]

There was a lonely guy who decided that life would be more fun if he had a pet.

He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede. It came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the park.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to the park with me?"

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the park with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede?s house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the park with me?"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."

[Lazy8]

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.

At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.

The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"

"I did," said the centipede.

"Who stopped the rhino?"

"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.

"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"

"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.

"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.

"Ummm..." said the centipede, "Just taping my ankles."