Management:

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and

spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me,

can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I

don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air

balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between

40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west

longitude. "You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist."

I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the

balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no

idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost.

Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my

trip." The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am,"

replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman,

"you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to

where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise,

which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to

solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you

were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's all my fault."

Instead of lawyers, Shakespeare should've said, "Let's kill all the managers."

and here's why:

When you take a long time, you're slow.

When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough...

When you don't do it, you're lazy.

When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy...

When you make a mistake, you're an id***.

When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human...

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your

authority.

When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative...

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.

When your boss does it, he's being firm...

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.

When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original...

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.

When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative...

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.

When your boss is out of the office, he's on business...

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.

When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill...

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.

When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked...