prathapml Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:*"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."*"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."*"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.""Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.""I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.""I am a rabid typist."*"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side.""Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.""Proven ability to track down and correct erors.""Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."*"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."*"References: None, I’ve left a path of destruction behind me."*"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.""Don’t take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers.""My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.""I procrastinate—especially when the task is unpleasant.""I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemail.""Qualifications: No education or experience.""Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.""Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.""Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
mark Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 And my dad had a message to prospective new employers of his unliked ex-employees: "I can't recommend this person highly enough."DL
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