Direct Cable Connect with R.A.S. (InfraRed)

[Warrentheo]

I am trying to get two XP-SP2 systems to be able to talk as if they have a cross over cable connecting them (aka, as few restrictions between them as possible)

I have tested the infrared on both systems, both can see each other, and send files to each other using the normal IRDA functions in windows. (proveing the hardware is working)

I have used the connection setup feature in windows to setup and "Advanced - Direct Connection" across the infrared port, this works, and makes both computers have a little network icon in the system tray similar to a regular network card.

I can then ping both computers from the other (so they do see each other), but can't open any network shares, or run any tcp/ip applications between them. (windows says not found, even when running "\\[oposite-computer-ip-here]" even though that same ip just worked for the ping procedure. (the ip's given to both are of the 169 variaty)

I am trying on a basic level to get the computers to just be able to talk to eachother, and hope that after that I can share the internet connection on the host with the client computer.

In researching this issue, I have found that XP uses R.A.S. for these all these direct type connections (as if I was useing a modem to make the connection) and that additional security is added into the equation because of this. I don't have a domain (just a peer-to-peer workgroup) and from what little I can find on the internet on the subject, this will prevent this being anything other that just a icon in the system tray. Is there a way to configure RAS to let the connection work as much like a normal network connection as possible?