The complete idiots guide to grammar

'There's no room for 'of'

In 'I could of been rich.'

The correct word is have,

You ignorant b***h.'

'Don't use 'their' with an 'i'

When you mean 'they are', or 'there'.

If you keep that s*** up,

I'll dip your nethers in Nair.'

'A lot's not one word,

Unless there are things being allotted.

Keep using alot to mean 'many'

And you'll end up garrotted.'

'If you don't know that excepted

Means 'left out' or 'not included';

It will be widely accepted

That your dumb a** is deluded.'

'You should say, 'I'm not well'

Instead of, 'I don't feel good'.

The medics might leave you to die,

If you're misunderstood.'

'Many grammatical errors

May be excused or forgotten;

But I'll bitchslap your a**

Next time you claim, 'It has been broughten!''

If you could park a mini close between two other cars in the language world of english, then you could park a monster truck in the same parking space in the language world of chinese.