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cool definations


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Cool definitions:

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one

end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day

internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor

degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of

the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the

minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number

present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that

everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is

defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens

& everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a

feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home

life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their

mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than

you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit

to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be

spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way

that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he

accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in

midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in

ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he

got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you

are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your

Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you

with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such

mails........

Thanks prathampl

Edited by Ven
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When you want to remove the quotes in a forwarded email:

1. Paste the text into notepad.

2. Press Ctrl+H (or Edit >> Replace).

3. Find - ">" replace with "" (that is, leave that field blank, to clean it out fully!

4. Then click "Replace All".

5. Now paste back the cleaned text.

Cool definitions:

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one

end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day

internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor

degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of

the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the

minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number

present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that

everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is

defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens

& everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a

feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home

life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their

mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than

you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit

to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be

spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way

that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he

accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in

midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in

ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he

got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you

are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your

Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you

with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such

mails......

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