Ven Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 (edited) Cool definitions:1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at oneend & a fool at the other.2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-dayinternationals are more popular than a five day test.3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelordegree and a woman gains her master4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes ofthe lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "theminds of either".6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the numberpresent.7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way thateverybody believes he got the biggest piece.8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power isdefeated by feminine water-power ..9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens& everybody disagrees later on.11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel afeeling you have never felt before.12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open theirmouth.16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more thanyou actually do.17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to bespoken of when dead.21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a waythat you actually look forward to the trip.22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if heaccidentally falls into a river.23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says inmidway "See I am not injured yet."24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter inZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.26. Father : A banker provided by nature.27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that hegot caught.28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when youare early.29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after.30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills youwith his bills.31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading suchmails........Thanks prathampl Edited January 20, 2006 by Ven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Railman5 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Grumble gripe! have you thought about removing those Bl***y irritating '>>' marks as it makes reading the message difficult.nice definitions in any case! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prathapml Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 When you want to remove the quotes in a forwarded email:1. Paste the text into notepad.2. Press Ctrl+H (or Edit >> Replace).3. Find - ">" replace with "" (that is, leave that field blank, to clean it out fully!4. Then click "Replace All".5. Now paste back the cleaned text.Cool definitions: 1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. 2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. 3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master 4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage 5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". 6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .. 9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage. 10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. 11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. 12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read. 13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. 19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. 21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." 24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY . 25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 26. Father : A banker provided by nature. 27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. 28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. 31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Hey, I'll remember that for the next time someone's retarded forwarded e-mail gets past my Hotmail filters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt_ Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Those are funny and yet true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devang Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Hohohohoho.... really cool and witty too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raza Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 WOW that was nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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