amardeepsingh Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects--Sorry, that's the way the game is played. You've probably been playing and losing at this game for some time, without any understanding why. Now that you have the scorecard, you may fare better.You stay by her side the entire party 0You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy -2Named Tiffany -4Tiffany is a dancer -6Tiffany has implants -8When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly +1When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain" and pat her on the rump -5When she points out a hot-looking woman and asks if you think she's pretty, you say, "Yes, but nowhere near as pretty as you" +1When she points to a woman and asks if you think she's pretty, you say,"Yeah, but don't worry, she's lousy in bed" -6That woman is her sister -90You have one drink, and that's it 0You have more than a few and perform the tango with a poodle. -2You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being fingerprinted. -18Saturday AfternoonYou go to the mall together +3You go to the mall, drop her off in front, then park the car +4Then drive to a sports bar -2You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend to like it +3You spend the day shopping for furniture, and nap on a sectional 0You spend the day at a wholesale club, buying in bulk +3Most of it chips and beer -6You tackle a large household project, such as painting the den +15Or refinishing the floors +19Or rewiring the basement +21Or adding a second floor +25Or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom wastebasket -6You visit her parents +1You visit her parents and actually make conversation +3You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television -3And the television is off -6You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear -6And you didn't even go to college -15You forgot to pick her up at the airport -25Which is in Newark, New Jersey -35And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast -50A Night Out With The BoysGo out with a pal -5And the pal is happily married -4Or frighteningly single -7And he drives a Trans Am -10With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) -15You have a few beers -5And miss curfew by an hour -10You get home at 3 am -20Smelling of booze and cheap cigars -30And not wearing any pants -40Is that a tattoo??? -200A Night OutYou take her to a movie +2You take her to a movie she likes +4To a movie you hate (anything with Barbara Streisand) +6To a movie you like -2It's called DeathCop 3 -7Which features cyborgs having sex -9You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans and dogs -15When asked how she looks, you reply, "fine" or "nice" 0You reply, "beautiful" or "gorgeous" +5You reply anything without being asked +10You notice something she did special, (hair, nails, eyelashes). +15You mention you like her new hairdo +15She says she had that done last week -10FlowersYou buy her flowers only when it's expected 0You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it +5You can actually name a few of them +8You can name all of them, because you hand selected them +10You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself +10And she contracts Lyme disease -25Your PhysiqueYou develop a potbelly 0You develop a noticeable potbelly -10You develop a potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. +10You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts -5DrivingYou lose the directions on a trip -4You lose the directions and end up getting lost -10You refuse to ask for directions 0You end up getting lost in a bad part of town. -15You meet the locals up close and personal -25She finds out you lied about having a black belt -60The Big QuestionShe asks, "Do I look fat?" -5(Sensitive things always start with a deficit)You hesitate in responding -10You pretend you didn't hear -12You reply, "Where?" -25You reply, "Compared to what?" -30You reply, "But I like you that way" -35You reply, "Not for your age" -40CommunicationWhen she wants to talk about a problem: -5You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression 0She realized the TV is on behind her -10You listen, for over 30 minutes +5More than 30 minutes, without looking at the TV. +10She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep -10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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