matrix0978 Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 Airplane jokes>> After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe> sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The> mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, &> then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it> be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual> maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots & the solutions> recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major> airline that has never had an accident.> ----------------------------------------> (P= The problem logged by the pilot.)> (S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.> ----------------------------------------> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.> ------------------------------------------> P: Something loose in cockpit.> S: Something tightened in cockpit.> ----------------------------------------> P: Dead bugs on windshield.> S: Live bugs on back-order.> ----------------------------------------> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.> ----------------------------------------> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.> S: Evidence removed.> ----------------------------------------> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.> S: DME volume set to more believable level.> ----------------------------------------> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.> S: That's what they're for.> ----------------------------------------> P: IFF inoperative.> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.> ----------------------------------------> P: Suspected crack in windshield.> S: Suspect you're right.> ----------------------------------------> P: Number 3 engine missing.> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.> ----------------------------------------> P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.> ----------------------------------------> P: Target radar hums.> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.> ----------------------------------------> P: Mouse in cockpit.> S: Cat installed.> ----------------------------------------> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding> on something with a hammer.> S: Took hammer away from midget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCT Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 LMFAO! thats great..> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.> S: That's what they're for.> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding> on something with a hammer.> S: Took hammer away from midget> P: Mouse in cockpit.> S: Cat installed. those are the best IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prathapml Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 hahaha! ROFL at this...Well, actually something similar was already posted some days ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angadsingh007 Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 ROFL !!This is too funny.> ----------------------------------------> P: Dead bugs on windshield.> S: Live bugs on back-order.> ----------------------------------------> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.> S: Evidence removed.> ----------------------------------------> P: IFF inoperative.> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.> ----------------------------------------> P: Suspected crack in windshield.> S: Suspect you're right.> ----------------------------------------I fear that some day, the gripe sheet may include the following P and S :> P: Aircraft about to crash, passengers in danger, no parachutes!> S: Advise all passengers to "evacuuate" the air-craft immediately, they will be given parachutes on reaching the ground! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix0978 Posted March 15, 2005 Author Share Posted March 15, 2005 Hopefully the world will never come to those problems and solutions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sednainc Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 i dun think air plane face this kind of problem labut it a nice joke thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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