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Both of the updates say "this update is not applicable to your computer" And after a bit more looking, I am not running a legit version of windows, but a really shotty cracked version.

About 5 months ago my computer refused to install Visual C++ Redistributable 2015. After a bit of troubleshooting I found out that the cause was that windows was not up to date. So I go to update windows and it says that my computer has never been updated before and gives me Error code 80004002 when I try to update. I tried using Windows update downloader but when I click on any of the updates it says "The update is not applicable to your computer." What should I do? Not being able to install Visual C++ Redistributable 2015 prevents me from playing a lot of my favorite games. Should I just go out and buy a new copy of windows or what?